Friday, December 14, 2007

2 words if you can't work with me....OUT

School is finally over and all we have left is finals. I can't wait to be done for good. The only stressful thing is I have to find a new job for next semester. But now that we're pretty much done with school I can relax more and enjoy the good things in life...

Easy cheese, Movies, Mario Kart, being with Jess (wait, that's everyday anyways.) (sappy sappy sappy blah blah blah blah blah), sleeping in (for me, which is around 9), playing with friends more, finally being able to watch Judge Judy on a daily basis, and such.
Oh, side note. A recent pet peeve of mine is people who use those hands free cell phone things. It's soooo annoying to see these people walking around talking to the air. Since when did holding a phone to your ear become difficult? It just creeps me out.

Deep thought of the Day: Jan got mad when I used the word vomit...but to me, that's what her food tasted like.

Thursday, December 13, 2007


I need something funny to write about. Give me an idea and I'll make it happen...

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Just My Luck

I just remembered that that is a title of a train wreck Linsday Lohan movie that we were forced to go see with some coworkers a year or so ago. Ha. Anyways, there's only 2 days left of the newspaper contest and I still haven't won. I'm still holding out for the grand prize. But even if I don't win, sad as it may be, I still got what I really wanted to Christmas, and that is to be engaged to the most beautiful girl in the world. We're happy about it. That's all.

Monday, December 3, 2007

A contest? A contest? This is what you do with your friends!

By the way, that title is from Seinfeld. Anyways, I've been doing this 12 days of christmas contest in the school newspaper. I thought since I never do these things I might as well give it a try b/c i figured that other people wouldn't do it either. WRONG. It's been like the biggest contest in the papers history. We're on day 4 and I still haven't won. Everyday 10 people get $50 Visa Gift cards. Then, there are grand prizes (such as an iPod touch), that people who enter can win at the end. Everyday you enter you get that much more of a chance to win the grand prizes. Anyways, I still have hopes that I'm gonna win, but we're going onto day 5 so keep your fingers crossed for me. In other news, School is almost over and I can't wait. Time to go play with Jeff and Darci...right now I'm watching America's Most Smartest Model. Check it out, check it out. <----That's from SNL.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


I don't know why I'm posting so much about sports but It's fun so it's okay. I was thinking about this whole college football tournament. I'm just thinking that it will never happen because of all the money that the Bowl games bring in. Maybe they could somehow combine the bowl games into a big tournament. But like I said, It most likely is not going to happen. Besides, a tournament would probably not help BYU. Look at the Men's Basketball team. They are really really good and pretty consistent year after year, but nobody at BYU makes outrageous claims about their talent and ability like they do for the football team, and there is a good reason why in my opinion... it's because every year they get into the NCAA tournament they lose in the first round if not the second. If there was no tournament, then people would be saying the same thing they do for the football team. Getting into March Madness is really good, but going deep into the tournament is not that easy. I honestly have nothing against their basketball team at all, but I'm just saying, that's what I think about that. This also could just be because football is more popular, but whatever.
That's all I have to say about sports for now. Coming soon: Posts about new movies, travels, games, animals, the environment, and the brilliant Judge Judy.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I hate Stats class

Now that Football season is coming to a close, I'm done arguing about who is better and why. It's always fun to do though and every year it's one of my favorite things to do. But as always, by the end of the year, you realize that the rankings really don't mean much. Especially this's obvious almost anyone can win at any time. However, I'd just like to leave this subject with one more thing...a few stats. Real Mathematical stats (i use the term mathematical uneasily). These stats are created using the Grave-Reese College Football Rankings produced by Phd professors-Not ESPN analysts. Soooo, this is not an argument for any particular point, it's just a few stats that you might find interesting:

Rankings using stricktly statistical information-
Strength of Schedule:
Alabama Crimson Tide: 21st
BYU Cougars: 90th
10 Teams in the SEC were ranked on this list before the 1st team from the Mountain West was ranked. (#37 UNLV)
Records can suddenly seem unimportant when you look at info like this. Anyways, like I said, this is not an argument, just a statistical fact, so who cares anyways right? That's all. PS: Sarah and Ryan, write something new on your blog....we are bored!! :)

PPS: Just in case anyone cares (which no one really does), The amazing, talented, brilliant, UNDEFEATED Hawaii warriors (or Rainbows as they apparently have been known as) had the worst strength of schedule rating on the list, coming in at a pathetic 120th. Understand why they aren't ranked any higher? They are not being underestimated, trust that.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Our trip

The trip to Maine was a lot of fun. Being back at school is just blah blah blah blah blah. We left at 12 in the morning on wednesday and flew to JFK and then Maine. I was on the lookout for celebrities at the airport in New York, but no such luck. Maine is beautiful. I got to play with all of Jess's animals. Feeding the llama and alpacas was fun. I love animals so I didn't mind cleaning up after them or anything. I couldn't remember their names so I gave them names from Charm School and flavor of love. (ie: the Llama was miss New York, and then there was pumkin and deelicious, and saphyrii) :) The dogs were great to play with and the cats were funny too. We went to L.L. Bean late at night and played in the fish tank. We went riding on the go kart to the back of the property with the dogs in tow. (actually emma was pushing me off the seat and I was holding onto poncho) We played games at friends houses, and we played Rook on Thanksgiving day. (which Jess's dad and I won, na na na na..can't touch this) <---people who know mom will get that one. We might have played another game that day but I don't remember. Bad memory you know. We watched the Macy's day parade and the National Dog show. We watched some movies: The Holiday and Live Free or Die Hard. (Skip that one and watch the original Die Hard.) All of the food was delicious....from the entire thanksgiving meal, to the breakfast eggs (which came from the chickens out back), to the blueberry pancakes..mmmmm. Then we went to see a few lighthouses and the ocean. It was all great. Loved it. Loved the family....loved the trip. But now we're back so I'm just excited to go to ALABAMA!!! :)

PS: and yes, I did beat (destroy) a couple 14 year old girls at Mario kart...and it was amazing. hahaha. Everyone knows how competitive I am...age, height, gender....makes no difference. I'm in it to win it son.

Saturday, November 24, 2007


Well, we're back from beautiful Maine....We had sooooo much fun. The food was good, Jess's parents are nice and funny and so great for having us, the food was amazing and I wanted to take all the animals home with us. I'll write more tomorrow when I'm not exhausted.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Off to Maine

We're off to Maine tonight at 12 midnight. We are excited to go....but I still haven't packed so ahhhhhh. Okay, gotta run.

PS: Everyone knows I have a big mouth so I could always go on and on about anything....
Just remember, the SEC teams are not given better rankings just because of their conference. They aren't given any special treatment. They are on the big networks b/c they are the games people care about. And if Alabama and BYU both went 12-0, Alabama would be ranked in the top 5 and BYU would not. Disagree? I didn't think so....and then ask yourself why. You can argue as much as you want but until you play some decent teams, you've got nothing to say.
This morning some genius in the BYU paper actually wrote that "the BYU Utah game is one of the biggest rivalries in college football. I just had to laugh. Outside of this state people would be saying, "BY...who?" Okay, my rant has continued on...oh, and to all of you "fans" of BYU who don't really know or care anything about college football, allow me to apologize. We're all winners, hurray!!! (sense the tone)
I really should have a reality show. Blah!

pps: I would love for Alabama to come to Provo to play BYU, but they probably have never heard of the place. Besides, I think the provo fans need to come down to our stadium. Maybe they can teach us some new things: singing in unison while clapping like idiots, complaining about people being too loud in the stadium (we wouldn't want to disturb the babies), or how white people think the haka dance is cool.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Roll Tide

So this post isn't really to go on and on about how much I love Alabama football...rather to try and continue my ongoing cause to help delusional BYU cougar fans. Here is the deal: the reason everyone talks about the SEC being the best conference is because it is. You never hear any analysts on ESPN saying, "yeah, but what about the Mountain West and BYU..." Never. The reason is because nobody cares about them. It's a joke. For the most part all the teams in the conference are below par with the rest of the country. Remember the "Amazing" John Beck. As usual, the cougar fans were so angry when he wasn't up for the Heisman last year. Now look at him. He plays for the worst team in the NFL and after a 0-9 start, they decided, "why not, we can't suck any worse, let's put our rookie in." Oh the buzz around campus was nuts. Everyone was so excited that their golden boy was finally getting his chance. Time to show everyone how brilliant he is, how wrong they were to not give him the heisman, how perfect he is....and then....wait did the game already happen? Yeah, nobody cared, he was so so at best, and they still lost the game. Did sports center do a big story on his breakthrough game in the NFL? NOOOO. Why? Because nobody cares!! But back to the story at hand...
You have to play good teams to be nationally recognized. Eventually you will have a 8-2 record and be in the top 25 when you play sucky teams. Congratulations with the tough wins over colorado state and UNLV. But what happened with the 2 non-conference games you played...remember those outcomes? Or were the officials to blame for those? Strength of schedual has a lot to do with rankings and perception.
It's not all BYU's fault. To their credit, they are the best team in the conference. But don't complain about not being in any big BCS bowls, b/c you just don't play anyone good enough to earn a spot.
Now I'm a huge Alabama fan, but i'm not delusional. We've had a mediocre season at best. (thank you John Parker). BUT, does our record of 6-5 really tell the full story?
We beat Arkansas who was playing excellently at the time.
We beat Tennessee who is still in the top 25 and having a good season too.
We barely lost to Georgia in overtime.... now a top 10 team
We lost to LSU, the #1 team, in the last minute of play after leading the entire game.
We lost to FSU who is always unpredictable and dangerous.
Then we just lost to 2 crappy teams. No excuse there, that's just embarassing.
But 3 of those losses were hard fought games that could have gone either way. So don't tell me that just b/c a team wins more games in a season (BYU) and gets ranked 23rd b/c of it, that they could beat the Crimson Tide. BYU fans always seem to spout this kind of propaganda near the end of the season when their ranking inevitably goes up. That's why even when they finished 12 in the poles last year, they are out by the start of a new year. Just remember, your conference sucks, you don't play anyone worthwhile or difficult at all, and when you do, you lose (UCLA...who sucks by the way). But don't worry, I'm probably the delusional one. And if the world was right, I'm sure BYU would be playing Hawaii for the National Championship, and John Beck would be in the Hall of Fame already. How silly of me...

Thursday, November 15, 2007


Good job on the quotes game. Here are the answers:
1. Best in Show
2. Clue
3. Friends
4. The Ring
5. Anchorman
6. Seinfeld
7. White Chicks
8. Airplane
9. Family Guy

I'll decide who won after I analyze the results...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Beautiful girl

Sorry I'm obnoxiously posting a million things today. But I just wanted to show off some of my ocd ness. I really like this picture of Jess and I (bc we are the, BUT, I just want to move my jacket hood over a little bit. That's how funny I am. Anyways, we just happened to match that day which turned out to be cool.

Who will be the winner....?

Okay, here is a quiz. These are some of my favorite quotes from a few movies and T.V. shows. Whoever can get the most right gets some sort of prize from me. A 7 Eleven prize. Note: not all of these necessarily have to be funny movies. ie: one is definately not.
1. We are so lucky to be raised amongst catalogues.
2. Then you got a letter, and you got a letter, and you got a letter-GET ON WITH IT!
3. They don't know we know they know we know...
4. No offense ma'am, but what the hell does that mean?
5. When in Rome...
-Actually that expression doesn't really apply to what I just said.
-oh, I still don't really know what it means.
6. She's crazy. She thinks I made her sick because I coughed on her doornob, put her
stapler in my armpit, and rubbed her keyboard on my butt...yeah, a real wacko.
8. Would you like something to read?
-Do you have something light?
-I have this leaflet.
9. This is like that time I played Marco polo with Helen Keller.Marco...Marco...Marco
Good Luck

Lost my mind

So....Last night the incredible, amazing, brilliant Judge Judy was on Larry King!! While watching it I was looking at my blog and realized, I completely forgot to put Judge Judy's show on the Best T.V. show blog! I probably forgot because i'm never home when It comes on anymore, but it is definately one of the best on T.V. right now. From the way she was talking last night I think she's a democrat (sad), BUT, she was atleast not obnoxious about it. Instead, she was polite and sophisticated with all her responses. In short, I need to work for her in some capacity.
And of course, to make this even more is a list of my favorite snack foods that make most of my friends gag...

1. Smartfood cheese popcorn
2. Slim Jims (my freshman roommate wouldn't let me eat them in the dorm room)
3. Easy Cheese and crackers
4. Bahama mama polish dog from 7 Eleven
5. Bologna sandwich

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Feeling a little sick...

Tonight, Jess and I were over at Sarah and Ryan's and we were sitting at the dinner table talking. Sarah decided it would be fun if i drank her diabetes orange test drink. It's basically carbinated sugar water. You have to drink 10 oz. in 5 minutes. I drank the whole thing in 2 1/2 minutes. It didn't taste THAT bad, but afterwards I felt really weird. I kept asking if It was going to make me pee funny or something. My mouth felt numb so I drank a whole bottle of water afterwards. Then I noticed my heart beating faster. I'm feeling a little better now but I'm trying to not make any sudden movements. It wasn't until afterwards that I read "by prescription only" Anyways, we'll see how this turns out...

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Best Shows on T.V.

Okay look, I know what's funny, and this means I know what's best to watch on t.v. So here are a few shows you should check out. If you don't watch t.v. you should probably get checked out for some disease. Here goes:

1. The Office. Not nearly as funny as the previous 3 seasons, but it's still one of the best things on T.V.
2. 30 Rock. Underground favorite of mine, but not widely known, even though it won the emmy for best comedy.
3. I Love New York 2. I missed my chance to be on this show, but New York is funny as ever. (I still think it should have been called: I Love New York know, like a play on words? What, I think it's clever...)
4. America's Most Smartest Model. This show looked stupid before it came out, but it's turned out to be hilarious.
(Umbrella tree?)
5. ANTM. This season isn't as good as it's been before, but still, it's funny to laugh at Tyra and Ms. J.
6. Best Week Ever. This is a favorite for some hilarious commentary on the weeks happenings.
There are plenty more, but this is a good starting point.

[Editors note: We are all still sad that Charm School is over.]

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


Attention everyone...sadly, Serena had to pull out of her first match today in the year end finals due to a knee injury. Hopefully She'll recover by tomorrow to be able to play. I know you are all deeply troubled as I am about this news. But, we all know she is the greatest female tennis player ever so if anyone can come back...she can. A moment of silence please.

In other news, Referendum 1 was voted DOWN today with 62% voting AGAINST at press time. Thankfully, most people in this state seem to have a brain and don't fall for all the bogus propaganda that's been spread about this bill. If you were for it, you are a bonehead. That's the way it is. Don't try to go on and on about how good it is and how much you love "choice" in education. You might as well go off and homeschool your children while you're at it. That's a choice. Just recognize your boneheadedness.
Lastly, I emailed my BFF Judge Judy again today, and I'm still waiting for a response. I'm sure she's just really busy and will respond shortly.

Have you ever...

The other day I tried to push on a glass door that was actually a PULL door and looked so stupid doing so. Then I tried to play it off like I really meant to smash up against the glass or something, but everyone around knew what had happened. So I just avoided eye contact and quickly left the scene. It was very embarassing. Which led me to think of one of the most embarassing things I think can happen to a person: tripping or falling. I'm really paranoid about it (which is why I dread icy sidewalks.) It's really the great embarassment equalizer that was put on this earth to keep us all on the same playing field. It doesn't matter if you're rich, famous, popular, funny, smart, talented...ect....If you fall, you're gonna look dumb. If Brad Pitt (gross) is walking down the street and trips (or worse, falls), he's still gonna flail his arms, get that awkward look on his face, and feel just as much as a fool at the next bum. So remember, watch your step as you walk...because If I'm around, I will be laughing at you. :) And If I trip in front of you, I'll smile and laugh like it's funny but really I'll be kicking myself inside.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

My Heros

People I want to meet (not an all time list or in any particular order):

1. Judge Judy- I constantly email her but so far she hasn't responded. I'm getting through to her though I'm sure. I would love to be in her courtroom.

2. Rob and Big- They are hilarious and if I win the PacSun contest, Jasper and I are going to L.A. to meet them.

3. The William Sisters. (mostly Serena)- duh, who wouldn't want to meet them. (watch your comments!!! i will get feisty)

4. Tonya Harding- She goes after her goals and achieves them.

5. New York- I really should have auditioned for the show.

6. Toni Braxton- Check.

7. President Bush- I'm patriotic
....the list goes on and on.

Wrestling Career

Oh I forgot. While on the way to the bathroom, Jess wasn't looking where she was going and she totally slammed right into this girl. I about fell over laughing it was so funny. Thankfully the girl just smiled and laughed it off, but she seriously might need to go get her back checked out after that one.

The other day we were hanging out with Doris and Jasper again at Jaspers apartment. His annoying roommate was home with his girlfriend. You know those creepy couples that hang out in the room over and you don't quite know if you can pass through that room because you're not sure if they are being weird and making out in front of you? That's that couple. We kept peeking around the corner to make sure it was safe.

The day before we were all playing Apples to Apples at my place and my roommates invited these strange people over who we didn't know. One of the guys was a freak and he kept getting mad b/c we weren't picking his cards. He kept accusing us of cheating which was soooo annoyinnnnngg. I wanted to smack him.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Roaming the streets of Salt Lake

So, last friday we went to The Venue in Salt Lake to see Regina Spektor. First, we had to find parking which was a craaaazzzy. After we finally found a place to park we all had to go to the bathroom and the only one nearby was the bus station. Have you ever seen the movie Adventures in Babysitting?...well, it's hilarious and the bus station in salt lake is exactly like the one in that movie. Weird people everywhere, living in phone booths, laying their babies down on the cement, trying to spit in your mouth... So we tried to go in through one set of doors but it was locked so we did that thing where you push on the doors and you look really stupid when they don't open. Then you play it off like you really didn't want to go through those doors. You know. It was very embarassing. While Jasper and I were waiting for Doris, Kristy, and Raquel to come out of the bathroom we saw these girls heading towards that door. Jasper said, watch this....sure enough, the girls smacked right into the door so hard. We were laughing even though we had basically done the same thing 5 minutes earlier.
The concert was good, except it was hard to see the stage and people wouldn't shut up. Regina has a really cool voice. There was this couple making out in front of Doris and Jasper which I'm sure was funny for everyone to watch because they fell off the platform they were on. We had fun.
That was pretty much it.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Mac or bust

So I'm really bored and sick and tired of doing homework so I'll just write some random things.
1. I love Las Vegas and wish I worked there in some capacity on the weekends.
2. I'm secretly a black person inside.
3. Give me some easy cheese and a Mt. Dew and I'm all set.
4. I'm my biggest fan
5. I have the hots for a special girl. (and one of my teachers)
6. I want a Mac book for christmas and I'll to do anything to get it.

Okay, that's all. Oh, here's a helpful tip. If you're ever having a conversation really close to a person, and they wipe their face off while you're talking, it probably means you spit on them. You should just stop and say, "did I just spit on you?" It really makes the situation a lot funnier and less embarassing. Believe me.

America's Most smartest plant nerd

This is the beginning....
I'm random so I think this is going to be funny. Not right now, but eventually.
I have to run now, I'm going on a boring Vegetation field trip with a teacher that my girlfriend has the hots for. It's all good.