54th and Crinshaw

Check out the review blog...

2011-04-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

Really, i don't blog anymore. I'm much funnier in person. So go to the review blog....which i kind of consider my regular blog now.

The end.

Ummm

2010-12-04T17:21:00.001-08:00

I know, I know. I don't blog anymore. I'm lazy about it. But really, all of my stories are inapprop and are better told in person. Anyone want to hear about my trip to the Urologist? yeah......

and let me just say this, I don't want to hear about how "every guy has to go eventually" or something along those lines. It was OUT of CONTROL!!!!.....but funny. I'll save it for an in-person conversation.

Time to complain....

2010-10-05T17:41:00.001-07:00

So, Even though I thought I had everything settled last week with my school loan people, here they come calling again. Can you believe these people want me to pay $116 every MONTH!?!!!?!?! Surree, that's not a ton of money to some people, but that's a lot of money to me, when you make the kind of money I do.

Okay, here's the deal.

All your life you hear how education is sooooo important and blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I got a degree.....but what's it all worth now a days? You go to school, take out loans (b/c you're poor.......not poor poor, but the kind of poor where you can still go to college as long as you get loans), and pay to get a piece of paper saying your educated.

THEN, you graduate school, only to find out that people with masters degrees are going for the same entry level jobs as you. (Or Purple Heart war veterans with masters degrees are going after the entry level jobs....but whose bitter?) The economy is so bad, that they have to go for jobs that are technically speaking, well below them. On that note, don't even get me started on how I think masters degrees are scams, as well as most higher education programs....I digress.

So here I am, barely making minimum wage, and these ridiculous loan people are hounding me, telling me that they are reporting my delinquency (big word, i know...) to my credit score people!!!!

It's ridiculous. What kind of country is this? I'll tell you who can solve this....Oprah. Yes, I'm writing Oprah to pay my bills. Actually, I'll write 3 letters.

1 to Oprah

1 to Celine Dion

and 1 to Obama.

If they can't fix this, I don't know who can..

Things I can't wait for.....results

2010-09-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

5. Didn't get the promotion at work....don't EVEN get me started. Jess will probably kill me with all the venting I've been doing. But seriously, if you heard the story, you would be angry too. Let just say, it makes NO SENSE as to why I didn't get it. Also, my new supervisor looks like like a dirty raccoon. She needs help.

4. Dinner was delicious.....Jess knows exactly what I like to eat. (It's not hard....just think of what a kid would like and voila!

3. Alabama had the comeback game of the year.....it was awesome. (4-0)

2. Taking antibiotics for whatever "infection" I may or may not have. I have to take these things for 21 days, twice a day. I hate medication.

1. I still can't wait for Disneyland!!!! (I may or may not have already gone to the Disney Website and planned out every ride I want to go on)

Things I can't wait for...

2010-09-22T16:35:00.000-07:00

5. A promotion at work.....wishful thinking.

4. Dinner

3. The Alabama game this weekend. (We're 3-0 so far)

2. Better results from all the Dr's tests. Ummm, I have an infection? What? Anyways, I kind of have a funny story about the Dr., but i don't know if I should share it or not. Maybe it's t.m.i.? idk...

1. Disneyland!!!!!!!!! Is it October yet???

Happy Birthday Joshua!

2010-08-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha. Okay, so I couldn't find the "Joshua" version. But you get the point.

We had the tape of this song and every year on my birthday I'd wake up to somebody playing this song in the house. Who doesn't love a 1970's creepy cartoon?

The Hills...Adjacent feat Kathy and Maggie Griffin, and Lauren Conrad

2010-07-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

Kathy Griffin finally makes it on the Hills

Welcome to Subway ... by GloZell

2010-07-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite comedians. This is how I feel about Subway.

My Phil-tropy

2010-07-21T18:55:00.000-07:00

Oookay. This morning, I went into work early b/c many of us today decided to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity later on in the afternoon. I wanted to get as many hours of work in as I could, so I went in at 7:30. Nothing too special, except this old lady told me over the phone that we were worse than Hitler, and that we needed to stop harassing her. See, my job is still exciting. Anyways, after dealing with that one, It was time to go help build this house.

So when they asked some of us to volunteer, I wasn't so sure about doing it. I've heard about doing things for.... "charity".....but I didn't know how it would go. I mean, I figured it couldn't hurt to..."help"....people. <-------did those jokes translate in writing? B/c when I say it out loud it's realllly funny.

Anyways, a few of us got to go help build a house. Think me, building a house. Is that not another episode for my reality show??? I'll have to say, I did a really good job. Mostly I just dug the trenches for the sprinkler system, but I worked hard. And it was HOTTTTT. We worked from 12-4 and then I decided to go home. We could have gone back to work, but we were all gross and didn't feel like it.

After I took a shower, I was starving. What's new? So I decided to head off to Subway.

Okkkaayy, I love subway sandwiches. But sometimes the people who work there are a little sketchy sketch. There were two girls working there. One started to make my sandwich and the other stood there and got ready to add the vegetables. (which of course there would be none added). BUT, while the girl stood there, she was resting her hands on the sandwhich making board. One hand on the board, and the OTHER......resting on the board with her FINGERS INSIDE THE GARBAGE HOLE. Inside that little cut out area where they discard old food and crap. My inner monologue was saying, "Nooo, I'm gonna need you to take off the garbage gloves before you touch my sandwich". She didn't. And yes, she touched my sandwich. I was hungry enough to get over it, but that ain't right.

This morning

2010-07-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

Soooooo....as most of you know, Jess is camping this week. This morning started out like any other week day when she's gone. I got up, ate breakfast, got everything I needed for work and headed out the door. That's where the trouble started.

The SECOND I shut the door behind me I realized something.....I forgot my keys. Ummmm, yeah.

This has only happened one other time, and Jess was home that day, so I just called her and she woke up and opened the door for me. Today, I just panicked. I'm thinking, how in the world am I going to get back inside, get my keys, and make it to work on time. I HATE being late to anything, so I was so mad that I pulled such a boneheaded move.

So first, I tried to use an old subway card to open the door. We've tried this many times when we've been locked out. It just doesn't work. Our apartment is kind of old, but it's like Fort Knox. Seriously, you can't break in. I even went across the street to the people who used to have a key to our apartment, but they didn't answer the door. Next, i tried the sliding glass door. Of course, locked. At this point I started really panicking. I went down to the basement area and started looking for things that i could use to get up to our side window. I found an old ladder and brought it out to the driveway. Did I mention that the driveway goes DOWN, so the ground is not level? Once again....yeaaahhh. So picture this, me on an old, rusty ladder that I couldn't get to open up, on an unlevel surface, trying to open our window. I managed to pry the screen off, but the window wouldn't budge. i'm sure the neighbors got a funny view. They probably thought I was a terrible robber or something.

At this point, I got a text from Jess. Finally, some good news. Usually she doesn't have any service out there, but she randomly did. So I called her back and explained the problem. She gave me our landlords number so I could call him to open the door.

Remember, we have an illegal cat in our apartment, who loves to wait right at the door when you open it. So I was worried that if I called the landlord, he would open the door for me and see the cat. I risked it. I was already late for work, so I had to do something.

Luckily, he was nearby, so he drove to our place in about 10 minutes. As he walked up the driveway I reached out my hands and said, "thank you so much, I'm late for work" I pretty much grabbed the keys out of his hand before he even got close to the door. I ran up the stairs, unlocked the door and handed him the keys back as quick as I could. Once again, Luckily, he didn't try to come in.

I walked into the apartment to get my keys AND.......no kitty. I walked around calling his name, but nothing. No sight of him. I know all the places he sleeps and hides, so I started checking everywhere. Nothing.

At this point I was like, am I in some sort of twilight zone? Did the cat disappear? i thought, maybe I shut him in a closet or under the sink on accident. I started calling out that I had a treat. Kitty ALWAYS comes running for that. Nothing. I shook his food bag and even put some food in his dish. Nothing. That REALLY made me worry.

Finally, I looked under the bed, and wouldn't you know it, there he was...terrified. I think all the banging I had been doing on the windows and doors had really freaked him out. I had to drag him out b/c he was so scared. Anyways, I made it to work 20 minutes late, but at least I made it. Plus, my job is awesome now, so It didn't matter that I was late. I just made it up by taking a shorter lunch. So there you go.....one awful morning.

Promotion

2010-07-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry I never blog anymore, I just don't have the time. Wimbledon ends tomorrow and Serena is in the final, so I've been doing my best to watch the highlights after work. I actually get to watch the final tomorrow, so that's the most important part anyways.

OKAY, on to the point.

2 weeks ago I got a promotion at work. I am now an Account Monitoring Supervisor in our customer support department. There are 5 of us in the group. It has made my job sooooooo much better. Before, I had to sit there all day long on the phone...call after call after call. Rude person after rude person, billing problems, cancellation requests...eckkk.

Now, I'm not on the phone nearly as much. I don't take any inbound calls, I just make outbound calls when necessary. Our job as Account Monitoring Supervisors involves doing a lot of researching on our customers accounts. We deal with bankruptcies, forgeries, false alarm fee disputes, and special cancellations among other things. (special cancellations involve moves to assisted living facilities, military, death, etc) For example, a customer will call in to a rep and say, "i'm moving to an assisted living facility so I want to cancel my alarm system agreement" That rep will instruct the customer to send in certain kinds of documents for us to review, and then email my group.

Once we receive the documents, I will call the assisted living facility and verify that the customer in fact lives there (and verify that it is an assisted living facility and not just a retirement home....that doesn't count). Once I make sure of that, I send it to be canceled.

Hopefully that gives you an idea of what I do. Plus, I get to do a lot of investigating about false alarm disputes. If a customer gets billed by their police department for a false alarm and they want to say it's our fault, I get to look into it and decide.

Sooooo, that's it. It's great, I don't have to sit all day long and talk. Me= Happy.

Good news and bad tacos

2010-06-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

So, last night we went to mom and dads for dinner and we had tacos......my favorite. The kids got their food, and then we all started making ours. First, J made a comment about his food tasting weird. Then, Sarah noticed something was wrong. She thought it was the spinach. At this point, I was still making my tacos, but I could definitely smell something strange. Eventually I sat down and took a bite.....

How can I describe this?.... It tasted HORRIBLE. You should have seen my face. I was thinking, what is going on? Is this some new healthy taco recipe thats really gross? Oh no, it was the shells. We don't know what was wrong with them b/c they were brand new, but they tasted like they had some chemical in them. I can't even describe the taste.....it was awful and the taste stayed in your mouth forEVER!

You know the scene from the show Seinfeld, where Frank Costanza over-seasons the meat and everyone starts barfing? That's kind of what the kitchen looked like. No one was barfing, but we were all spitting out our food. The kids were so funny. J said, "I knew something tasted weird djoshy". We still don't know what was wrong with those shells, but it was sick.

Anyways, today was a good day at work. I mean, work wasn't that fun, but the things that happened were great. First, I got an email from the customer support secretary. It was an appointment for an interview with our manager for a supervisor position! That would mean more money and less time on the phones.....which is exactly what I'm looking for. I'll keep you posted with what happens.

THEN,

A while ago I had requested to trade schedules with someone for saturday, July 3rd. At my job, you can't just request time off if the schedule has already been made, you have to trade with someone else. So, it being a saturday, and a holiday weekend, I thought, "nobody is going to take this day". What do you know, someone took it, which means now I have July 3rd off! Whoooo hooooo. Seriously, for a call center, you can't get many days better than this one.

I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....ha ha ha

Oh Canada....

2010-05-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

What....exactly....is wrong with people from Canada? Okay, okay, I'll apologize in advance to all of my loyal Canadian readers. In fact, instead of getting mad at me for writing this post, go sit down and think about how bad you bumbled the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. That should keep you busy for a while.

Seriously, anytime we get a call at work from Canada, we all groan. It never fails, they're always mad about something. The main problem is from people who live in 3 places:

Medicine Hat

Red Deer

Moose Jaw

Yes, those are actual cities in Canada. You would be an angry person if you lived in Moose Jaw. They're always yelling about something. Also, why do people from Canada act like the entire planet knows about Canada. The first time I said zip code instead of postal code I thought I saw my life flash before my eyes. Have you seen their Postal codes anyways??? It's like trying to read a license plate....very confusing. And don't even think about pronouncing the city Regina like Regeena.....everytime, they will correct you in a very rude tone: it's RegIIIIna.

The other day this guy was arguing with me over the phone.....not so shocking. He was upset with how we do certain things in our company. Let me assure you, he was in the wrong. It would take too long to explain, but he was wrong. After talking about this issue for a while he said, "you guys need to stop Mickey Mousing it around there" (don't ask, I don't know what that means)

Then he says, "where is your company located? America? Figures...."

I was thinking, seriously Mr. America Jr.? SO RUDE!!

So whenever I start talking to someone over the phone and I hear them say "aboot"...I know I'm in for trouble. Just saying....

Lastly, Serena is dominating the French Open. Thank goodness.

Laser tag

2010-05-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah, I never blog anymore. I'm gonna have to ask you to deal with it. All I do is work work work anyways, so there isn't anything that exciting going on.

However, I've become addicted to laser tag lately. It's a new addition to the new Nickelcade. And I don't care how little the kids are that I'm playing. The smaller the better...they make easy targets. Last night was our 3rd time playing. My team dominated of course. If you haven't tried it you should. There's smoke, lights, music.....it's really cool.

Also, you should see me and Jess collect tickets. We know exactly which machines to use, and we don't waste time. All the little kids just stare at our stash of tickets when we walk by. Occasionally we'll just give the tickets away...but we work hard for our slap bracelets and toy guns, so not usually. Ha ha ha. Anyways, that's all for now.

yeah, I said that.

2010-04-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

[Real conversations I've had on the phone....as best as I can remember]

80 yr old woman

Caller: I would like to update my emergency contact list

Me: okay, the first name on the list is dave, is that still a good contact?

Caller: No, he's deceased now.

Me: oh, I'm sorry to hear that. The next name we have is Janet.

Caller: deceased.

Me: ohhh..... awkward pause.....sounds like you've had quite a time here lately

Caller: you can say that again...

--------------------------

Caller: I need to have the system at our business moved to a new location.

Me: okay, is this Mrs. Corp?

Caller: Who?

Me: Mrs. Kalua Corp.

Caller: Umm....no. My name is tammy. I work for Kalua Corporation.

Me: ohhhhhh.....yikes.

--------------------------

Outbound call

Me: Hi, may I speak with Mr. Sigler

Caller: No, he's not here.

Me: Oh, will he be back soon?

Caller: No

Me: Do I have the right number?

Caller: Mr. Sigler isn't here

Me: Can I reach him at this number?

Caller: No, you can reach him in heaven. He's been dead for 13 years.

awkward pause

Me: um, is this Sila Sigler?

Caller: Yes

Me: I'm sorry ma'am....I guess I didn't realize who I was looking for.

Yeah...I'm used to making myself look ridiculous.

I forgot

2010-04-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention that last weekend BJ came out to Utah and stayed with us for a few days. Jess and I had fun playing with him. You should have seen us cleaning up at the new nickelcade. But let me say this.....arcade prizes are rip offs! Between BJ, Jess, and I, we ended up with 1500 tickets. That's a ton. And what did we get? A couple of toy guns, a slap bracelet for jess, and some candy. It's kind of out of control. Oh well. The funniest part is when you start winning tons of tickets, and then the little kids start eye-ing your machine.....I'm always thinking, "Back off"!!!!

We also went to the mall and watched lots of excellent movies. (Check out the review blog)

It was fun to have him visit. He's funny like us....learned everything from me of course. Jess probably wants him to move out here and live in the apartment above us. Ha ha ha. Okay, the end.

I love Ameri-curr

2010-04-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

I just want to know why....people are surprised that a killer whale would kill somebody? I'm from Florida, and i've been to Sea World, Shamoo has been jackin people up for a long time!!

Ha ha ha. Okay, that was actually from a comedian named GloZell. She has hundreds of YouTube videos, and I watch them everyday. I'm kind of obsessed. But hey, she's funny like me, so it don't matta!

So it's been a while since I've posted anything.....I guess it's because I haven't had many funny stories to tell. I mean, my life is funny all the time, but I'm much funnier in person. Writing takes so much time.

Work has been same old same old. I'm a pro at telling people they can't cancel their agreements. Today, after 25 minutes on the phone with this older lady, and after telling her over and over again that she can't cancel, she finally said, "I hope you have a miserable day, and a miserable week" ha ha ha. It was kind of funny. I mean, sure I feel bad for SOME of these people, but for the most part, I don't. Actually, if they are nice, then i feel bad, otherwise, I couldn't care less.

Also, yesterday I said yes ma'am to a customer about 5 times before he finally said, "I'm a sir"....oops. hahaha. Never a dull moment I suppose.

Okay, that's all for now. Another day, another dollar.

This just in: People are dumb

2010-03-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

So I've been officially working at my new job for about a week. (since finishing training). Again, i'm working in customer support for an alarm security system company that will continue to remain un named. For the longest time, I always said how this company scammed people. Thats what I thought of most of these companies. Since I've been working here, I've decided, "Nobody is getting scammed, people just really are as dumb as I've always believed." You can't imagine how many people call in and want to cancel their agreement. Hello???? Did you read the thing before you signed it??? You can't cancel!!! Of course it comes as a shock to every single person. My other favorite is, "I didn't know I signed for 5 years??" Um, can you read?

Here's another good one I've heard a few times: "You know, we got the system last year and now my husband lost his job....the economy is just so bad, we can't afford it" Really? The economy is so bad? Hmmm, I wish it was last year again when the economy was BOOMING!! Duhhhh, why did you buy it in the first place???

As many of you know, I am not a people person. I like my family, and my friends. That's about it. It is incredibly hard to put up with these people all day long. I have to be so nice to them when they're screaming and cursing bloody murder at me. In my head I'm yelling back, "why did you buy something you couldn't afford???"

Just in case you are one of those people like I used to be, someone who thinks these security system companies are scam artists, consider this:

1. Once you sign an agreement, you have 3 days to cancel the service with no charge to you. That's THREE days to read every single word of the agreement. (or perhaps to get someone smarter to read over it for you)

2. Before the system is installed into your home, our company calls you and gives you a pre-installation survey where they ask you yes and no questions about the system. A rep will actually call you, and you have to verbally answer. Example: Mr. Jones, do you understand that you will be paying 39.99 for 39 months? etc...

3. After the system is installed you receive a post installation survey with even more questions.

(side note: some individual salesmen might be creeps, and lie to potential customers....the previous list still rings true)

So the only way you can be scammed....which a lot of people claim to me every day.....is if you are a complete moron!

Bottom line: people are d u m b.

My new job

2010-03-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

So I've had my new job for a week now. I don't want to get sued or anything, so I'm not going to mention the company name here, but I'm working in customer support for a home security company. So far, so good. The pay is just okay, but there are lots of opportunities to move up. Here are some of the perks of the job:

- Our building is brand new and cost 37 million to build. I don't know if that's a perk, but it's a cool building.

- Free lunches

- Free soda anytime, even if I'm not working. This could be bad....so much dr. pepper.

- Free gym membership

- Cell phone discount. I'm not sure if this applies yet, b/c I'm on a family plan. We'll see

- Benefits

There's lots more. Food places, movie theaters...blah blah blah.

We start taking calls today, so I'm sure I'll have some funny stories later. I'm just ready to be done with training....there are so many annoying people. This one guy thinks he's funny and keeps trying to make jokes. Half the time he just trails off and then there's the awkward situation where everyone else goes, "what did you say?"...then he says, "nothing, I was just making a joke about...." Then he explains the joke and it's obviously not funny and nobody laughs....which then makes me laugh. Goodness, it will be nice to be done with training.

By the way

2010-02-25T14:32:00.001-08:00

Tiddy limps all the time again...and he switches which foot to limp with on different days. You can see him holding his paw up in the picture above.

You didn't wish hard enough...

2010-02-25T14:13:00.001-08:00

Just kidding. But no, I really didn't get the Denver interview job. It's okay, I think things happen for a reason. Anyways, I'm still unemployed (and plasma-less) so I've had to find things to do.

Soooo, here is something you've never seen on my blog, and probably never will again: me being crafty. I got the idea from an old friend. So be impressed, b/c usually you only get sarcastic comments, funny stories, and sports news on my blog.

For our wedding, Nana (Jess' grandmother) gave us a really nice picture and frame. The frame is wood and pretty big. The only problem is, our apartment has boring white walls, and the wood is a really light color....so it doesn't really look good up on the wall. Sooo, I decided to fix it up a little

Here is the frame. It's really nice, but see how it almost matches the wall? The green tape is where I started to tape off the center portion that is fabric

Here is a close shot of the wood detail

I couldn't find the camera until after I had spray painted it blue and applied a black glaze. I know, me? I did this! Nuts huh? Also....spray painting indoors....yikes.

Before i removed the green tape from the center fabric

Problem. When I removed the green tape, the spray paint and the black paint had both bled onto the fabric. (as you can see from the top and side portion). Soo....I ripped all the fabric off completely. (as you can see from the bottom and left side)

I decided to paint the inner portion completely black...it was really the only option I could think of. So....here is the finished product.

Impressive huh? Anyways, that was my day yesterday. You're welcome for being a craftman.

Wish me luck

2010-02-07T20:39:00.000-08:00

So finally, (feels like i've been waiting forever), I'm leaving for Denver tomorrow to interview for the job. I'll be there until at least Wednesday. Wish me luck, send all your good vibes my way, and hopefully I'll have some good news by the end of the week.

Failed again

2010-02-04T10:31:00.001-08:00

Told you the plasma center owns me. 122 this time. Or maybe 127....i honestly can't remember. I just laughed. Anyways, I made an appointment for next saturday. That might be my last one, because this obviously isn't working anymore.

I never want to donate plasma again

2010-02-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

Okay, while that isn't true, I probably will never be able to again. Here we go again...

Today I went to donate plasma again. The second I left the house, my heart started racing. I could just feel it. After last weeks incident, I looked up ways to lower your pulse. I've been trying all of them this morning. I got to the place and made sure I went to the bathroom right away. Then, I tried everything. I tried to focus on the movie that was playing, I tried texting, I tried watching other people to get my mind off myself, I tried breathing, I tried closing my eyes and relaxing....etc.

All the while, I could still tell that my heart was beating fast. I just kept repeating in my mind, "relax.....relax"

Then I got called into the screening room. It was the same girl from the last time. She was much nicer though. She put the cuff on my arm and after a few seconds, she said what I knew was coming, "you're nervous huh?....you're pulse is 132". 132!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was like, good grief. That's what your pulse should be when you're doing a light workout!! It's time to face it, the plasma center owns me. I'll never be able to donate again, b/c I'll never get my pulse down again. The first time it was a fluke, but now it's all I can think about. I'm not nervous about anything they do there. I don't mind the needles, I don't mind the procedure. But since I failed the pulse last time, it's all I could think about. The lady was nice and told me I had to just think about something else next time. But how can I??? Seriously, how can I not think about it. I tried everything. I tried to be calm and my pulse was 132!!!! I'll never not think about it.

What am I supposed to do? Now I've lost $65 potential dollars from this place. That's a lot of money that I could have used!!!! Any suggestions? How can I get my mind to not think about this now? It's not like I was running around freaking out. It was just in my mind b/c of what happened the last time. ARRRRRRHRHHGGGG

Going again on thursday.....to fail again probably.

I'm still awake!!

2010-01-30T00:17:00.000-08:00

Serena and Venus won the Australian Open doubles title again....Serena is in the singles finals and it starts in 10 minutes. (1:30 am). Yes, I am awake. I'm that loyal.

I am angry

2010-01-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

Guess what happened at the plasma place today? I went there this morning to donate. Just like the last two times I went, I drank a ton of water this morning. I mean, a lot. So as I'm sitting there waiting to go into one of the screening rooms, I really had to pee. BAD

I didn't go to the bathroom though, b/c I was worried I might miss my name being called. After about 10 minutes, I finally got called. I went in and the lady checked my blood pressure, pulse, and temperature. All of a sudden, she calmly says, "okay, your pulse is 107 so you won't be able to donate today". It was almost like I didn't understand what she was saying. I said, "excuse me, what???" She goes, "your pulse is too high, it has to be under 100".

The annoying part is, they don't retake your pulse....not until they get a new system in 2 weeks. That's it, they just send you home and say you can't donate all day long. Can you believe that??!!! I am still angry. I planned my whole morning around this, I drank a billion gallons of water.....I AM ANNOYED!! The only thing I can think of that would raise my pulse is the fact that I was holding in my pee for so long. Is that possible? I mean, I wasn't nervous or anything, what else would cause this? How ridiculous is it that I couldn't donate just b/c of my pulse? Give me a break. I want/need that money and it just bugs me that they don't even give you a chance to go sit down for a few minutes...or heaven forbid, go and PEE!!! I had been dying in the waiting room, which is why that's the only thing I could think would have caused it. Anyways, I'm done venting for now, but if you see me in person I'll probably start again.

Oh, she also said I could come back and try tomorrow- yeah, there are no appointments available tomorrow...like I'm going to come sit and be on standby.....that line is always incredibly long. So now I don't get to go back until tuesday and instead of getting 35 then, I'll have to start over and only get 30. (that is if my pulse goes below 100). I feel like I just failed a drug test without taking any drugs. Blurg!!

Australian Open Update

2010-01-28T13:24:00.000-08:00

Good news so far. Serena and Venus play in the doubles final tonight (they won last year). And, Serena plays in the singles Final tomorrow against an old [disgusting] rival. Roger plays his semi final tonight...Hopefully I'll have good news to report in the next few days.

Also, I donated plasma again on tuesday and I'm going again on tomorrow. It was much better this time, and MUCH faster. Only another week until my job interview in Denver. Fingers crossed....then I can finally slow down on selling my precious fluids. :)

I got my diploma!

2010-01-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

And that means my graduation is for real.

Oprah Winfrey whole segment, for real for real.

20/20 Barbara Walters for real for real.

60 Minutes for real....

What I will sell for money

2010-01-20T14:22:00.001-08:00

Here is the deal....I'm broke. I'm still waiting for my interviews in early February, so in order to make some money, I decided to donate plasma. (how else will we pay the rent? haha)
This is my review of the whole deal.

Since this was my first time donating, I had to be there for a loooong time. 3 hours total. They ask all kinds of medical questions....millions of times too. Also, there were several times when they actually made me read aloud what I was signing. All very unsettling. First they make you go into the screening room, which apparently you have to do every time you donate. You have to say your name and your "donor number" when you sit down. Then, one of the workers checks your blood pressure, temp, weight....you have to have specific numbers in order to be able to donate. My blood pressure was a little high, but I think that was because I was nervous. The amount of plasma they take from you is based on your weight. I was the lowest weight for the middle amount, so the lady suggested that I wear "less clothes" in order to drop a pound and therefore be able to give less plasma, and then be less light headed. Sketchy, no?

Anyways, then they prick your finger and test your blood to make sure the protein levels are okay to donate. After these tests, they started the million questions. After this, they make you go and have a physical from one of their.....doctors....?...ha ha ha. Okay, not really a doctor, but somebody who worked there who looked official. Again, right when I sat down with her she said, "say your name and your donor number for me" I had to pee in a cup and even had to take off my shirt so the lady could feel me up. Eyes, ears, reflexes, everything was checked. Then the questions started again. Every medication, every surgery (I might have forgotten my last one), everything you could think of, they ask. She even looked up Pleva to see what it was. Finally, after all the questions, and checking me out, she said it was okay to go back to the "donor room"

Okay, let me paint a picture for you....Have you seen the previews for that new vampire movie, where they farm humans for blood? It was like that. Tons of bed chair things with people hooked up to them lined the walls of the room. It was kind of scary, I won't lie. Plus, they ask all kinds of questions about piercings and tattoos like it's a terrible thing, but there were some sketchy sketch people in there with all of the above.

So they call me over, I lay down and it starts. One more time "say your name and your donor number" I'm thinking, "who is listening to this? Why do I have to keep saying it?" Anyways, I've never even donated blood before. Basically, they stick a needle in your arm and start to draw out the blood. The blood is centrifuged in this machine thing that you're hooked up to and the plasma goes into a plastic tube. Then, every so often, your red blood cells are pumped back into your arm. By the end, they had taken a full tube of plasma. It was actually freaky to see how much they removed from MY BODY. I couldn't help but feel violated. :) I was hooked up to the machines for about an hour total. The whole time I just watched the tv where they had a movie playing. By the end, I walked out with 30 Bucks. I can go twice in a 7 day period. The first time they pay 30, the second is 35.

Overall, the whole first day process was not very fun at all. Plasma donation centers are a money making machine and I felt a little bit like a robot to them. It took forever and was not that enjoyable. However, once I actually got into the donation room, (blood sucking factory), I enjoyed it a lot more. The next time will be much better I think, and i'll get paid more money. Oh, also, I drank a lot of water before I went there and I had to pee the whole time, so that was driving me nuts too. :)

Conclusion.....if you need extra money (or money at all like me), this is a good way to get it. The first time was long, but I think it will get much better once I become a "regular". Ha ha ha

Jess is...

2010-01-17T22:14:00.000-08:00

There has been a lot said about my wife this past week. Most of you have heard all about it. It's been bugging me all week, because after all that's been said, somehow, Jess (and me.....go figure) has become the bad guy to some. So instead of discussing what a few think of her, I'd like to make a post dedicated to the person THEY are missing out on.

If these people could only see, Jess is...

Soft Hearted- She was a shoulder to lean on when we had to put Hunter down.

Fun- Need a Pixel Junk Monsters partner? She's top notch. And I hear she's a good Canasta partner, but you'd have to ask Dorris about that.

Thoughtful- She's always making food for someone, or trying to help her friends with anything.

Crafty- Have you seen her etsy store? It's freakish how talented she is.

Loyal- She always has my back, and she never would turn on a friend.

Beautiful- She should give lessons on how to be a model.

Smart- Her GPA is disgusting, but she's not about to brag....that much. :)

My Wife- Perfect in her own way.

The list goes on and on but I'm sure you're already barfing over this post. (Sarah) ha ha ha

Anyways, this is the girl that I see, and THIS is why I defended her. Maybe one day they'll understand.

Okay, this is the sappiest my blog will ever get. Prepare for boring tennis posts and updates on donating plasma.

Tennis starts tonight!!!...

2010-01-17T22:13:00.001-08:00

...which is actually tomorrow. It's the Australian Open, so the times and days are all weird. But anyways, I can't wait to watch 2 weeks worth.

Cleaning

2010-01-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

Since I'm out of work right now I've been trying to keep myself busy around here. I renewed the car registration, gone to the post office to mail things, and begun cleaning parts of the house that never get cleaned. The big project was the shelves in the back room. That's pretty much where we just set anything that doesn't have a real place. You should see the recycle pile I made of all my old school supplies that were up there. The shelves look really nice now. Usually I make a throw away pile, and then a pile that Jess can go through to see if she wants to keep. For example, any of her school papers or magazines go in the maybe keep pile. But if I find junk things like these ugly red/white Christmas tree ornaments that someone gave us a while ago, they definitely going into the garbage pile right away.

That way, we minimize the junk in the house, and we won't be in danger of becoming hoarders. Plus, it gives me something productive to do while I'm waiting to hear on my jobs. The end.

Hoarders

2010-01-12T10:05:00.000-08:00

So....week 2 of no job. BUT, things are looking up. I mean, I like being positive, so even though things are pretty much the same, I have high hopes. I've applied for a job with the BLM (that would be a federal job) which would be extremely cool to get and that's what I'm wanting to get. They don't start interviewing until February though, so I just have to wait. Until then, I plan on donating plasma for cash. Yes, I'm that desperate for money. :)

That's the job update for now.

Now for another issue. Last night I watched the show Hoarders. Each episode documents the lives of usually 2 people who have hoarding issues. I'm fascinated with these people and that's what keeps me watching, but I'll be honest: I can't stand that show. Hear me out. I would call myself an anti-hoarder. I routinely go through my house and throw things out. I can't stand clutter, I can't stand junk, I don't have many sentimental things....if I don't use it, I want to throw it away. As you already know, I'm also OCD, and many of those tendencies involve cleaning. So it just bothers me seeing these gross houses on this show.

Here is why I hate the show:

1. They only stay and clean the hoarders houses for 2 days, so by the end, the houses aren't really clean. I know that's not the real point of the show, but I kind of want it to be like "Clean House", with a big reveal at the end.

2. It bothers me that nothing really happens during the show....they just repeat over and over how bad the situation has become for the hoarder and how they need to get their lives together. well duh!

3. If the show is really trying to help these people, why do they only help clean for 2 days? They make a big deal about it too. Once the 2nd day is over they start yelling at the cleaning crew.. "stop, don't throw anything else away, we're done" What is that about??? How about they stay a whole week and really get the situation under control?

These are my main complaints. By the end of the show, there just isn't any real closure. Anyways, I'll keep watching, b/c it's so freakish it's hard to turn away.

We're baaaack

2010-01-07T23:47:00.000-08:00

Alabama 37 Texas 21

Graduated....

2010-01-04T12:58:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's official, (even though I haven't gotten the actual paper)....I finally graduated with a degree in Wildlife and Wildlands Conservation.

And I'm jobless

So I've been a hobo today, without school or work to go to. Okay, I haven't been a total hobo. I've applied for 4 jobs (and those applications and whatnot take for-ev-er), went to the bank, went to the post office, paid rent (which is going to get harder and harder to do....haha...yikes), and cleaned the house. Here's to finding a job!...

Off to Phoenix

2009-12-20T17:47:00.000-08:00

See you in the New Year!!!

Family Pets

2009-12-16T12:03:00.000-08:00

So after thinking about the pets we've owned, It might be fun to try and remember them all....the good and the bad...and the very bad. Help me with any of the ones I miss...

(This won't be in chronological order either)

Charmie- Guinea Pig

Ernie and Bert- Hermit crabs. (that was their names, right?)

Ethel- chicken

Fred- rooster

Ducky- baby duck

Quail

Wilbur- pig (am i making up that name?...i think we called him that)

Catfish- white cat

Buttons- white cat

Cassie- orange cat with boosh

Boosh- cat with cassie that got ran over

Sunny- another orange cat

Smoky- gray cat with sunny

Pumpkin- satan reincarnated as a cat

Sassy- cat i found in the garage

Chauncey- cat in the running for fattest alive

Jay-Z Asian cat

Annie- the first beagle

Mandy- was she that black lab mix something or other?

Bama- dog roll tide

Gator- dog still rooting for tim tebow

Jackson- yellow dog

Sparky- the dog that would keep me trapped on the swing set, yelling for help.

Boone- sheep dog

Emma- the second beagle, turkey killer, had 9 puppies

Rosie- fat beagle puppy that we eventually gave away

Little Bit- beagle puppy that got taken away after the great turkey killing

Hunter- the wonder dog

I know I'm missing some....

Hunter

2009-12-12T16:39:00.000-08:00

Since I was a little kid, our family has had more pets than I can keep track of. Chicken, quail, guinnea pig, duck, fish, hermit crabs, pig, and of course, dogs and cats. We had so many dogs, probably 15? Who knows, all I remember is that we had tons and I loved every single one. There was always one big problem.....they never seemed to love me the same way. Haha. Okay, actually they just loved to run away. It didn't matter how much attention I tried to give them, they always ran away. One time, our beagle (I should say our second beagle), somehow escaped into the front yard. I tried to get her to come back, but she refused. I went into the house, got a piece of fried chicken out of the fridge, and waved it in front of me. She STILL wouldn't come. Can you believe that? It's true. Here I am, calling this dog, holding a piece of chicken, and she still refused to come to me. That just sums up how many of our dogs were. Eventually, they would run away, (or be taken away by the dog police for attacking our neighbors turkeys...)

Then one day, my dad showed up with Hunter. A beautiful yellow lab, about 5 years old. He saved him from the pound. I think I was 14 or 15 years old.

When he first got to our house, my dad had changed his name to Jake. When my mom got home she said, "He's been hunter all his life, that's what he knows, so that's what we should call him"
Hunter was unlike any dog I had ever owned. For starters, my mom actually let him in the house. He loved being in the house. He used to sleep under the computer desk, or sleep in his favorite spot- on the floor by the couch....right next to my dad. Hunter was amazing. He knew every trick and command. Most of our dogs could sit or speak, but Hunter could do so much more. I always felt like he could understand what I was saying. I could just look at him, and he knew what I wanted him to do. He was well behaved, he was gentle....never growled at anyone. (Except B.J....ask my dad)

And that's how Hunter got the name "The Wonder Dog". He was perfect.
We got Hunter around the time when I was the only child left in the house. Hunter was my friend....and a best friend at that. I never call my pets by their real name. Usually I called hunter one of these names: Hunty, Hunty grunt, blontee, dantee, ashanti, shanti....the list goes on and on. Haha. On the weekends, I would sleep out in the front room where he was allowed to be. He would lay down on the floor next to me and I would be on the couch. It never failed though....after laying there for about 10 minutes, he would sit up and just stare at me. I would look at him and just say, "okaaaaay". Instantly, he would crawl up onto the couch and lay on me. He didn't realize what a big dog he was. He would sprawl out, all 75 pounds of him, completely across my body. He would just lay there, content, so happy to be there. I would be barely breathing at this point, but still, I didn't mind.

I always wanted a dog to call mine. Just mine, a dog that listened only to me, and did everything with me. I thought Hunter would be that dog for me. And in many ways, he was. Hunter always listened to me and wanted to be with me. But if my dad was in the room, it was another story. Hunter was and will always be my dads dog. He loved my dad so much. That dog would do anything to be with him. If my dad was doing anything around the house, there was hunter. If he went hunting, there was hunter. If he was watching t.v., there was hunter. When I was younger I used to think of it as a competition. I would try to get hunter to like me more, but it never worked. Hunter knew that it was my dad who saved him, and he was gonna stick with him for the rest of his life....and he has. He is as loyal as they come. Now, I don't mind being runner up. Hunter has been a great friend to my dad....they are like two peas in a pod.

Hunter was the first dog we owned that I felt truly loved us back. My dad could actually do work in the front yard, and Hunter would just lay on the front porch and watch. At times, he would escape from the back yard, but It was just to wander around. We would drive around until we found him, open the car door and say "get it". He would happily jump in. Except......he never listened to my sister. To this day, he listens to everyone except for her. It's kind of funny.

I was sad when I had to leave for college and for my 2 year mission for my church, because I was afraid Hunter wouldn't remember me. But he did. Even after moving all the way across the country, he was still excited to see me when I got home.
So here we are today. A long time since Hunter, our Wonder dog came into our lives and literally became a part of our family. He's 15 years old....pretty old for a pure bred lab of his size. He's blind, deaf, and has tumors all over his body. In just the last month, Hunter's health has decreased considerably. We were actually surprised at how fast he has weakened. We've decided that it's time to have him put down. He's too strong willed to go in his sleep, much too strong to give up on his family. It's one of those things that you always think about, but never really believe the day will come. After all, I've never had a pet long enough to even have to deal with this. Mom, dad, and I went to the vet tonight. Even as he sat there for those last few moments in pain, he was content....because he was with the people he loved.

I wanted to write this so that I would never forget my friend. Although I know, that I don't need a little blog post to remember him. He will always be a part of our family. He will always be my friend. He will always be my wonder dog, and I know I'll see him again.....someday.

It's snowing!!

2009-12-07T10:44:00.001-08:00

Ahhhh, the first real snow of the year. Next thing you know I'll be falling on the sidewalk.

PS: Judge Judy is an Alabama fan. (In my head) At least she would know how to show some respect. Unlike some of you...

Redemption!!!!

2009-12-05T16:46:00.000-08:00

ALABAMA 32 FLORIDA 13
Dec 5, 2009

This goes out to all my friends, family members (yes, sadly even some of them are non-believers), enemies, frenemies, haters, fans, everyone....We told you so.
Not only did we win the SEC Championship....We dominated. We took on the big and tough, high and mighty, undefeated Florida Gators, and took care of business. They are at the top of the Nation in defense, and we humbled them. I know there's lots of you who are now recognizing our talent....but we've known it all along. Some games are good, others are great, some you just have to survive.....but in the end, it's all about winning. And that's what we did. So remember this!!!
WE WON!!!!! I called it.

Observation of the day

2009-12-02T20:05:00.001-08:00

I'm just wondering what is wrong with some people? I saw this guy walking to school today....let me paint the picture for you:

30 degree weather
Scarf
Big, warm jacket
sandals
.......
SANDALS!!

What in the world? I just don't understand why people wear the things they do. I'm not talking about the price of their clothes, I'm just talking about the odd choices. I love it when I can just wear shorts and flip flops....but it's winter weather right now. Why would you wear half winter clothes and then half summer clothes. Let's go over how most mammal bodies work. In cold weather, your body will spend a lot of energy trying to keep your core warm. (where your vital organs are) That's why your hands and feet get cold first. So WHY would you wear sandals in the winter time??!! Your feet are gonna be numb by the time you get to class. It's just bizarre.
Also, the most annoying kid in our major was wearing no shoes in class today...only socks.....ugghh.

In conclusion, I need a job. I'm looking, but it's not going well. Stressful. One more week til I graduate.

Vacation common sense

2009-11-30T13:15:00.000-08:00

We're back from Arizona....I'm sure you've seen the pictures by now. It was a blast. What could be better than being on vacation with fun people you love?....being on vacation with fun people you love + ME!!!! Because everyone knows that I am FUNny. Hi....yikes. Moving on.
It was awesome.....and we're going back for Christmas!!! I'll have people tell me horror stories about their in-laws and i always say, "what are you talking about, mine are great." So thanks to the Hatch's for showing us a fun time. We can't wait for almost 2 more whole weeks of fun in the sun. We'll be there a couple days before Christmas and all the way till a week after. I'm excited.

On another note....quote of the day from my friend, Judge Judy.

"If it doesn't make sense, it isn't true"

I find myself saying that to people all the time...especially recently. Do you ever meet those people who constantly make things up? Dare I say, compulsive liars? This quote is what I want to tell them over and over again. But then again, compulsive liars wouldn't get it anyways...

Healthy thinking...

2009-11-22T16:44:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for Thanksgiving break. It's only a day or two away now. One of the biggest things I'm grateful for?...my health.
You've heard me say, on this blog even, that I never get sick. It's something I really am proud to say. I always tell myself, "I am too busy to get sick". It just takes to much energy to mope around, do nothing, and feel awful. I've got no time for that. I really believe it's because I try to be a positive person when it comes to my health. Your mind, and attitude, determine a lot of how your body acts.

Think healthy = Be healthy.

Do any of you know people who are constantly getting sick? I do....and they are annnnnnooyyying. It seems to be the same people who are always getting sick....or should I say, "sick". It might sound harsh, but when they say they're sick again, i just think, "get away from me, I don't need any of that". I guess you could say, I think they bring it on themselves. Plus, when you constantly say you're sick, it's like you're crying wolf. When I [rarely, ever] do get sick, you better believe it's for real, because otherwise I just keep going about my day.

So remember, think well, be well.

Kathy Griffin

2009-11-22T16:39:00.000-08:00

For those who don't know, we went to see comedian Kathy Griffin last night in Salt Lake City. This is our second time seeing her live. She was soooo funny. If you want to know about some of the things she talked about, just ask me about any of these topics:

- Oprah
- Carrie Prejean
- Paula Abdul
- Jon and Kate
- Sharon Stone
- Maggie Griffin

Halloween

2009-11-17T11:17:00.001-08:00

I forgot to post pictures of my Halloween work party. Here is my disgusting costume. In case you can't tell, my theme was white trash/brett michaels love child. Enjoy

Yes...that's long blond hair in a ponytail....

Politics.....[Insert dramatic music]

2009-11-12T11:52:00.000-08:00

Sooooo, everyone always says you should never discuss politics with people....which is exactly why I like to. In general, I pretty much say whatever is on my mind to anyone who wants to listen. At school, I get a lot of the "did you just say that" looks. I mean, there are so many people who tell me, "I was thinking that but I would never say it"....I figure, why not just say it? Basically I'm an open book. Ask me my opinion, and you'll get an ear full, and I probably don't care who it offends. I guess that's the reason I don't mind talking about politics, or any other subject for that matter...

Here's the deal, I used to always claim I was a republican....I would tell you how much I couldn't stand democrats and how they're all crazy. Now, things are a little different. I say now, but I guess I really mean for a long while. First off, even though I just used the words, I don't like people saying they are either "republican" or "democrat". Those words don't mean anything. I like saying conservative or liberal....or something that describes a political belief. Now for the big reveal....I know you've all been waiting....what do I consider myself now???
....who knows......I don't.

I've discovered that my party is officially.....the one you are not. Most of you know I'm really opinionated. I've found that my political beliefs are all over the place. I've been around so many right wing conservatives that I just can't stand it. So if anyone starts talking about how conservative they are, I defend the left, and explain how wrong they are. Then I'll watch CNN and hear all this left wing propaganda and say, "that's ridiculous, and here's why...."
People get so crazy now a days when it comes to politics. I don't think anyones really got it right. Now I just tell people, which ever party you are, I'm the other. Or, I tell people I belong to the Judge Judy party, b/c I'll pretty much do anything she tells me to.

There you have it....I'm not a conservative, I'm not a liberal.....I'm just whatever....and I'm funny.

Neat. Clean. but not single

2009-11-03T18:08:00.000-08:00

Since Jess is sick....I've been cleaning and sterilizing our apartment like crazy. If our apartment smells like Lysol, forgive me. The poor cat is probably going to get some kind of respiratory disease from all the fumes. At any rate, I've been cleaning a lot lately, but it still doesn't seem to be enough for my liking. So while Jess is sick, don't be afraid of our house....it is definitely clean and flu free.
The end.

Talk about surviving

2009-10-25T12:04:00.000-07:00

Wow....I think I almost peed my pants watching the last 3 minutes of the Alabama game. Phewww, we made it.
Okay, here's the deal. We have got to start picking up our offense again. At the beginning of the season, McElroy was doing so well. Now, he's disappeared. It's so frustrating to see our team get into the red zone, time and time again, and then settle for a field goal. If we want to build confidence in ourselves, we have got to pick it up.
Now for my time to disagree with a lot of the reports out there right now. The media is so fickle. One minute, they love us and hate florida. Now, it's all about Florida and Texas and we are the questionable one. Ughhh. Bottom line: we won.
Nick Saban described it best:
"You talk about how fragile a season is," "You're controlling a game, even though you may say it's winning ugly. We're still ahead 12-3 and totally controlling the game with 3 minutes, 29 seconds and the ball. That's how fragile a season can be. You make one mistake and you have to go overcome it. I hope that there's a lot of lessons our team can learn from this."

While the score was not high, and while it wasn't a blow out, if you watched the entire game, you'll remember that we were winning pretty easily. They only had 3 points as of the 4th quarter. We had stopped them from even getting a field goal on several long drives. Then, everything went wrong. Fumble-touchdown-onside kick.....every single thing that could go wrong, did. But we held on, and that's what matters.
So remember that AP people. They keep saying, "Alabama can't play like that if they want to beat Florida"....um, after their Tennessee and Arkansas game the press were saying the exact same thing about Florida. Typical. Roll Tide.

For Your Entertainment

2009-10-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

I can't stop laughing about this video.

Self explanatory

"Don't scare a black man"

Drag me to where?....

2009-10-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

Recently we rented a movie from netflix called Drag me to Hell. ..calm down, it's not as bad as it sounds, it's even PG-13. It's a very cool horror movie. See, this movie came out in theaters this summer, and as usual, I dragged (wink) jess with me to see it. She made it halfway and then got too scared, so we left. When I found out it was being released on DVD I was thinking, cool, now I can finish it. I'm kind of rambling right now, but this will all make sense in a minute. So we start watching the movie while our friend Sarah was over. It's going along...the girls are kind of scared, but not as much as usual, b/c movies just aren't as scary at home.

At a certain point in this movie, it becomes apparent that the main girls cat is going to die. No need for me to go into details, but lets just say, you know the cat is gonna die. Right when this is revealed, Sarah looks at me and goes, "tell me that cat doesn't die...i hate it when animals die in movies." Having seen that part in the movie already in the theaters, I smile and say "don't worry, it's done very tastefully." The reason I said that is b/c the movie portrays it in a funny way, and you actually don't see the cat die.

So the scene comes where the girl is gonna kill the cat. (sorry if this is morbid...hopefully you'll see the humor in a minute) Sarah starts saying "oh no, oh no oh no"....again, I reassure her, "it's fine, it's tasteful". All of a sudden, the killing starts......okay, here's how it played out in the theater....

-The girl starts walking around the house with a knife saying, "here kitty kitty, here kitty kitty"...then, it cuts to a scene of her covering the cat with dirt in the backyard. Basically, you know she killed the cat, but you don't see anything else.-

Here is what happened on the DVD that we were watching. The girl begins stabbing the cat off screen. All you can see is her face and her arm with the knife, repeatedly stabbing. You begin to see tons of blood all over the knife, her face, etc. Sorry I'm being more graphic than I would normally here, but the level of violence is the reason this story is so funny. (also, it's hard to explain, but this scene was done in a funny, exaggerated kind of way, if that makes sense). But yes, there is blood everywhere, then you see her dumping the cat in a hole and covering it with dirt.
.....I'm gonna let you have a minute to take that whole scene in... :)

This all happened as if it were slow motion to me. Sarah covers her mouth and starts screaming and kind of laughing. I'm shocked and laughing, not knowing what to do, b/c I wasn't expecting it. She looks over, laughing, and goes "that was tasteful???!!" I felt soooo bad, but it was hilarious. Then I looked at the netflix package it came in....we were watching the directors cut version, not the theatrical version. yeah.....yikes. In the end, it was extremely funny and we all laughed. Again, I hope you get the humor out of this story and not the grossness. Although, it was gross, and it still was funny. So much for tasteful...

Vault Moment...

2009-10-15T20:24:00.001-07:00

So, one of my good friends at work and I are always having fun at work. We both like to watch reality shows, and we're both obviously funny. We always say that our soils lab could be a reality show. Basically I still think my life could be one, but our lab would be great too. There are so many characters working in the lab, each with their own personalities. We would have episodes such as, who's talking about who, who never comes to work, who always messes things up around the lab, who annoys us all the time...etc. It would just be hilarious. You all know that reality shows usually have a "confessional". That's the place where the people on the show go and talk directly to the camera about what is going on. It's the place where the people get to tell you what they were thinking while things were going on. We decided that on our show, that place would be called "the vault".
Anytime something happens in the lab that is funny, annoying, crazy, etc., or anytime we say something that is dumb or embarrassing, my friend and I will say, "I just had a vault moment"....meaning: this would be a time that they would show me in the vault, talking about what was going on. You would be surprised how many vault moments you can have in a day. It's very entertaining. So try it. Try and count, in a single day, how many vault moments you have. That is all.

SEC blog

2009-10-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should be a writer for foxsports.com Why not, they have people like Lisa Horne over there, so I figure I'm just as qualified. Yesterday was a good day for us....and for the SEC in general. Now Florida is ranked #1, and Alabama is #2. Here's to not messing things up....

Our conference is doing really well this year....as it does every year. Rankings are fun for bragging rights, but really, they don't show the real picture. There are now only 4 teams from the SEC in the top 25. Questionable. First off, everyone dogged Mississippi for being ranked #4 earlier in the season. They lost to South Carolina, which is actually a really good, ranked team right now. (and an SEC team). Then we have LSU. They were also ranked #4 as of last night....now they've dropped down, once again, by an SEC team. (Florida by the way). Then we have Georgia. Now, Georgia hasn't been the best this year, I'll admit that, but it's wrong to say that they are terrible because they lost to Tennessee. This is the same Tennessee that Florida struggled against. They are a solid team.

This brings me to the same point that is made every year. This is why all SEC fans claim to have the toughest conference. No, all the teams don't deserve to be in the top 10, but they are all capable of beating the best teams on any given day. There isn't a week that goes by that I think Alabama is absolutely going to win. They have the talent to win, but you just never know. Auburn just lost to Arkansas, and Auburn has been great this whole season. You never know.

Last note: lots of sports writers are quick to call teams overrated simply because they lose one game. (Some are). However, you must look at their entire season so far before you can claim that. Mississippi is a good team, they just got beat by better teams. The same can go for many other teams this year.

Horsing around during the summer

2009-10-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some really late pictures from this summer. Once a month we had a "career enhancement" day, where all of us from work went and did something fun. On this particular day we went to the Lavender Farm and rode horses, and then went to a local pond. Let me remind you, this was during the summer, and it was bloody HOT. We couldn't ride the horses for too long b/c it was so hot. Here you go...

Me on the rope swing

Pretending to fall off my horse
These horses are really big. Much bigger than most horses you would ride at any other place. (my co-workers wife worked at the farm so we got to ride the big horses) See the purple lavender fields in the background?

Victoria and I had to go get our horses and put the bridals on. We were extremely nervous b/c neither of us had ever done it. They just said, "go get your horses". It was one of the coolest moments of my life. We were laughing the whole time.

Here we are after we got our horses. These were 2 regular sized horses. I was switched to one of the bigger ones later one. (They needed the small ones for the shorter people)

Fun pictures with Jess and Hunter

2009-10-03T20:18:00.001-07:00

Here are some cool pictures of us taken by our friend, Sarah. Enjoy

Thoughts of the day

2009-09-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

According to a story on Yahoo.com, bad driving is now an "epidemic" in the U.S. I'm almost positive that most of these bad driving cases came straight out of Provo, UT. Just on the way home from school today, 2 different cars pulled right out in front of me while I was driving. I had to slam on my brakes and honk at the second one. Of course, the morons driving just give that blank stare as if they'd done nothing wrong. Mind you, I don't live very far from school. It's not like there was much time for people to even be able to pull out in front of me. People are just terrible drivers in Utah. The end.

On a Kanye West note: how could he be so mean to Taylor Swift? She is just a young, 19 year old girl. She didn't know, that when you are in New York, and a black man approaches you, you quickly divert your eyes and move to the other side of the stage. Then you shout, MY AWARD, MY CHOICE!!!
...hahahaha, I love chelsea handler. (which is where that came from)

Whoops again

2009-09-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

Last night we had dinner at my parents house to celebrate a few family birthdays. It was a lot of fun. I love playing with all my nieces and nephews. (Especially since littly Lily has stopped thinking I'm an alien creature out to kill her). She actually likes to play with me now and lets me hold her.....a big improvement from a few months ago, when just me looking at her caused her to cry.
Anyways, we were around the table discussing Ellen Degeneres as the new host of American Idol. So mom starts talking about the old Ellen show, and how it was such a big deal when she came out on national t.v....which it was at the time. I said, "yeah, but you know, everyone already knew she was gay. I mean, she always would wear those button up denim shirts, you know the kind...."
Just then, I look over at my mom in one of those slow motion moments where you realize wow, i just opened my big mouth....yeah, she was wearing a button up demin shirt. We all died laughing. It was extremely funny, and 100% not planned. I felt bad b/c I wasn't trying to say that everyone who wears those shirts is gay. Certainly not....that's just how I remember Ellen from that show. It was a funny reference. Plus, mom looked very young and hip in her shirt. :)
Annnnyways, it was quite the funny moment. Then again, I'm always funny, remember?

A Note

2009-09-27T18:47:00.001-07:00

I don't mind blog stalkers...but listen up. DO NOT comment on my blog if I do not know you. Especially if you are a Boise State Fan. I either don't know you, or I don't want to know you. Don't be deranged and comment on my blog. Get a job. (Although I know my life is much better than yours.)

PS: I HATE BOISE STATE. Your field is disgusting, nobody else in the country likes you, and you are just jealous that you couldn't get into a better school.

Football thoughts of the week

2009-09-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, I have to say something. Now, this only applies to this weeks situation, so I reserve the right to change my opinion about this later. But for now, here goes. THIS...is my problem with non-BCS teams.

Boise state....where do I begin. Boise state does not belong in the top 5. They only made it there because other teams lost. So what, if the top 4 teams lose in the next two weeks, should Boise State be #1????? Let's say Florida loses to Georgia this year. (everyone else staying the same just for this scenario). That would probably knock Florida down to around 8-10. The problem is, Boise state doesn't play anyone as good as Georgia this year. How would it be fair to put them above Florida, who IS playing much harder teams than even Georgia this year? (Yes yes, I know some might argue that Oregon could be considered good, or that Georgia isn't that good, but that's beside the point).

I suppose this rant is just the same as it is every year. If you don't play anyone good, week after week, then you shouldn't move up in the rankings so much. Because now there could be problems. Alabama has a string of difficult games ahead of them....including a potential run in with Florida in the SEC Championship again. Boise State does not. See what I mean? How good is it to go undefeated if you don't play anyone tough?

Lastly, here is something you never see on my blog: Kudos to BYU this season. I don't know their reasonings for scheduling the games they did this year, but at least they scheduled some difficult non-conference games to make up for the rest of the games in their notoriously weak conference. (Again, it's up for discussion as to how good Oklahoma, Tulane, and Fl. State are). But still, that's exactly what the non BCS schools should be doing. THAT....would earn respect from all the other schools. When the hardest team left on your schedule is Hawaii (cough cough Boise state), then you won't get any credit from me.

How old am I?

2009-09-23T21:47:00.001-07:00

Let me just say this, there are some weird people at BYU. I can't tell you how many people just stare at me when I'm walking down the sidewalk. It's so bizarre. Then there are those people who ask so many obnoxious questions in class. One of those people is in my evening class. He's known in our major as the annoying guy who never shuts up. Picture this: in class, he's usually bare foot, or wearing those gross sandals that have all the straps all over them. He's got that awful Hoover High School hair cut- the one where if you want to get it out of your eyes, you don't actually touch it, you just flip your head back until the hair goes just above your eyes. Ughhh, he's soooo annoying.
Anyways, back to the class. I have this teacher who of thinks he's smarter than he really is. (you've heard about him on Jess's blog) For some reason, he seems to think we're all really young children. For example: one time he literally says a joke from Seinfeld and then goes, "do you guys even know the show Seinfeld, it was really popular in the 90's".

Hello???? I'm 25!

And who does he think he's talking to? I was raised on Seinfeld, I own all the DVD's. I know each episode front to back, and can absolutely remember it better than he ever wishes he could. Then today, he mentions Gene Simmons and says, " Oh, do you guys even know who that is?" Seriously? I'm not 5 years old. Yes, I know who he is. For some reason, i think this teacher believes we were all born in 1995, and have been sleeping under some sort of television/music rock. It's.....kind of out of control. Okay, that's my rant for now.

Nothing new

2009-09-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a good one for football. Alabama won easily and are now 3rd in the polls. USC made it's yearly bumble and are out of the top 10, and thanks to BYU, I don't have to deal with Oklahoma. The SEC has 4 teams in the top 7. That's pretty impressive right? I mean sure, it won't last, but for now... it's a good thing. Couldn't be better. This is where our hard games begin though. Now that football season is going well, it's time to name some of the other best things of fall:

1. Cooler weather. I'm sick of it being so hot all the time.
2. Thanksgiving and Christmas.
3. Kathy Griffin coming to SLC in November
4. T.V. shows are all new

Speaking of Kathy Griffin, if you haven't read her book yet....you should. She's funny. She's allllmost as funny as me. But then again, no one is quite that funny.

Are you tidding me?...

2009-09-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

I've been silent for the past couple days, but now I'm speaking out. Yes, this is about the Serena issue.

If you're living in the dark ages and you haven't heard: Serena was playing in the semi-finals of the U.S. Open, serving to stay in the match. On a second serve at 15-30, a lineswoman called a foot fault resulting in a double fault. (a foot fault is one of the silliest calls in tennis) This gave Clijsters 2 match points, so obviously serena was angry. She walked over to the lineswoman and began yelling at her. This resulted in her getting a point penalty. (if you get into trouble twice in a match you lose a point. She had been warned earlier for breaking her racquet) The penalty point came on match point, so she lost the match because of this incident.

This thing has gotten blown WAY out of proportion. First off, it's irritating that she lost to kim clijsters in the first place. She had been playing so well the whole tournament, and that went out the door as soon as the match started. As for the "unsportsmanlike conduct"....that was bologna.
1. Who calls a foot fault on such a critical point? Who!!??? (turns out the lineswoman was wrong...there was no foot fault) NOBODY seems to even care about that.
2. So she yelled a little bit....you couldn't even hear her. Players yell at the line people all the time and nothing happens to them. CBS had to slow it down and replay it over and over again until we finally got what she was saying from reading her lips. So why blame her?
3. To me, it just didn't warrant a point penalty.
So now the issue is over.....NOT. Now, reporters are going on and on about this "controversial" match. Where is the controversy? It's not like Serena was winning. It was just a bad point. Everyone is going on and on about how awful it was. No....the tv people made it awful. That's what happens to celebrities. Who hasn't wanted to shove a ball down someones throat? (which is one of the things Serena said to the woman.) I can think of a few right now. (be warned everyone). :)
The point is, everyone needs to move on. Today after Serena and Venus won the doubles title, the crowd started booing this reported who just wouldn't drop the issue. Venus leaned over and said, "i think they want you to MOVE ON". Then they all cheered.

Official Book Club Selection

2009-09-09T10:28:00.001-07:00

I'm reading. Yes, it's true. Jess used her papparazzi skills and snapped a shot of me last night. As many of you know, I don't care for books. The last book I think i voluntarily read, for fun, was "The Lost World" when i was in 8th grade. But, when some of my favorite people write books, I read them. So yesterday we went and got Kathy Griffin and Serena Williams new books. Both are autobiographies. Kathy's book is called "Official Book Club Selection: A memoire according to Kathy Griffin." She called it this b/c she wants it to become the newest book on Oprahs bookclub. I'm halfway through Kathy's and it is very funny. So there you have it. I'm reading. And speaking of Serena, she is now in the semi finals at the U.S. Open. It's been a great 2 weeks for her so far.

Fall [Sports] is in the air

2009-09-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

I love the fall season, b/c that's when college football starts. And, I get 2 weeks of tennis during the U.S. Open. Serena is in the 4th round and Venus will be playing tonight to get there too. And of course, Alabama plays their opening game on saturday. Can't beat that.

Welcome back to school

2009-08-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

Here is a transcript from what my reality show, the juji project, would be like:

This is an actual conversation from my first day of school. I enter the office of my boss to get my school job back and this is the first thing I hear...

Boss: well you look ugly today.

Me: what??? (kind of laughing) my shirt? you don't like it?"

Boss: "the shirt, the shoes, the shorts, just the whole thing"

Me: "Ouch, my wife picked out this shirt for me, I like it"

Boss: "well, I would get rid of all of it"

Me: "thanks.....(awkward laughter)"

don't worry, i like my boss. But this is definitely typical. ahhhhh, who doesn't like going back to school.

My Birfday

2009-08-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 25 now. Old
I'm pretty good at finding out things that are going on. (Example: I figured out my Christmas present from Jess last year, and It wasn't something I had asked for)
So this past week, I've been getting the impression that something was going on. I didn't know exactly what it was, but I had an idea that there was going to be a party of some sort. I thought it would be a surprise something at the brick oven. So yesterday, Jeff and Darci came over b/c they were going to go to the Brick Oven with us. Before we could go, Darci and Jess said they needed to go to Sams Club, and Jeff and I went to Gamestop to look at PS3's.
Blah blah blah, time went by.....finally Jeff and I get back to the apartment to get the girls. I walk up to the door, open it and hear: SURPRISE!!!
Literally, there were about 18 people in the apartment. All I saw were faces. I could barely recognize anyone at first, as it was very overwhelming. I was like, whoa. It was really fun, and it actually did surprise me. (although I still say that I knew something was going on)
We had brick oven pizza and had a really fun time. So thanks Jess for the party.. It was cool.

THE smell

2009-08-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

Most people who know me will tell you I'm a little OCD. Okay, a lot OCD. (Obsessive Compulsive in case you're not getting it). It's true. Sometimes I tell Jess that I don't think she really believes me when I say it. The other day I cleaned the house and about 2 hours later I looked around and said, "this place is disgusting, I really need to clean it". Jess just looked at me and was like, "you're joking". I wasn't.
I can't explain it, but to me, the house was still just not right. That's how I explain my OCD-ness to people. If I'm obssessing about something, it's usually because it doesn't "feel right".
Here are my biggest OCD things:

1. (and this is a true #1) Touching my hair. DON'T do it. Whenever people touch my hair, I HAVE to touch it again. People think it's because I want it to look a certain way...it's not. It just doesn't feel right when other people touch it. So yes, if you touch my hair, you'll see me touch it right away, sometimes not even knowing that I'm doing it.
2. Cleanliness. Nothing is ever clean enough for me. I've learned to get over this a little bit (b/c of living with roommates, and a beautiful wife). You should see my febreeze collection.
3. Being on time/first. I get that OCD anxiety everytime I'm not first at something or on time to things.

This list could go on longer, but I'll stop here. And now for the reason of this post. For some reason, the closet that our garbage can is in smells disgusting! Gross, nasty, sick....It's not the garbage, it's the closet. Jess cleaned the entire thing out yesterday, wiped down the walls with clorox wipes, cleaned the carpet, cleaned the garbage can, and it still kind of smells. I'm just putting this out there, b/c it embarrasses me everytime someone opens that door to throw something away. (thus making my OCD worse, b/c I don't want people to thing I'm dirty....b/c I AM NOT) I'm thinking of putting an air freshener in there.
Anyways, this was a lot of rambling, but there you go. The end.

A glimpse into Provo...

2009-08-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

More proof that Provo is filled with....different.....people:

Top Netflix favorites for Provo, UT:

Sense and Sensibility
The Scarlet Pimpernel
Pride and Predudice
VeggieTales
Brian Regan stand up comedy

I know....no need to comment, it's freakish. What is wrong with these people? hahaha

Sometimes...

2009-08-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

...I forget to remember that my vision isn't as good as other people, and before I know it, I'm walking down the grocery store isle staring at people, thinking that they can't see me, just because I can't see them. Awkward

...I think I'm funny....Other times, I'm sure of it.

...I can't understand why people Looooove The Office, and not 30 Rock. I don't get it. Actually, I do. [Insert rude joke about society]

Annnnndd star wipe--------

Double trouble

2009-08-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

This past week was a little stressful. I survived. The problem started on wednesday when I got a call from a co-worker just as I got to work. (she was about to walk up to school)
Co-worker: you drive a black CRV right?
Me: Yes
Co-worker: well i think you're getting a ticket.

Yeah....apparently my registration had expired....since January!!
Let me just say this though: nobody has noticed. Nobody. I never got a reminder card, I got towed and the tow guy didn't notice, and I took the car in 3 times to Jiffy Lube and they never noticed!! How can they blame me for not remembering???
By the time I got to my car after work, I had 2 tickets on my car for this same problem. Here's the kicker: randomly my car got a chip in the winshield this summer, which has turned into a huge crack. That means it wouldn't have passed safety and emissions. See the issue?
Thankfully, I have great parents (especially bear, who can take care of anything car related), and we got everything fixed on friday. New winshield, safety and emissions, and new registration. Pheww.

Side note: We recently got Netflix, and I am addicted. It's great---and cheap.
I've been watching episodes of 30 Rock online. It's really cool.
Also, check out the review blog and go see District 9....it was awesome. The end.

Holy Rattlesnake....

2009-08-03T16:38:00.001-07:00

...my exact words when I walked out of my tent and almost stepped into this guy:...

He was giant!

We also practiced some gymnastics while camping:

And Austin and I had a work out session that nearly killed me:

These pics are from last month. New camping pictures coming soon.

Still no pictures

2009-08-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

My summer job has been very eventful this year...unfortunately the pictures that show all of these interesting things are still unavailable to me. For now, here's a list of many of the things I've been doing:

-Camping for 4 weeks
-Stepped over 4 rattlesnakes
-Horseback riding
-Rope swinging into a pond
-Swam across an entire lake (almost killed myself in the process)
-Hiked over countless acres of hills
-Fell 3 times completely to the ground in front of co-workers. Embarrassing...
-Archery tournaments
-Races in the mountains

There will be pictures of a lot of this, but I have no idea when those will come. In other news, I need to start eating better again. For a couple months, I was doing really good. I was even exercising daily. But, since we started camping, I've gotten off my routine. To make things worse, i've been supplied with easy cheese, slim jims, and fruit snacks while camping. (all provided for free) It's time to cut out all the crap again, and start eating better. ANNND, the exercise has to start again too. Here's to this fall....

More to come, I promise

2009-07-19T20:04:00.001-07:00

So I have a couple cool work stories, but I'm STILL waiting on the pictures. My co-workers are being sllllooowww about getting them to me. So I'm hoping that after this week (yes, camping till thursday....), I'll have the pictures and stories.
------------Snake pictures to come-------------

See you thursday

Lessons from Seinfeld

2009-07-12T21:03:00.001-07:00

Ahh yes, another life lesson I could have passed if I had just listened to Seinfeld. In a classic episode, George gets upset with Jerry when he discovers that Jerry has asked Elaine to pick up his mail while he's away from home. Jerry quickly gets George on the phone and exclaims, "George, I have a very important job for you! You have to flush my toilet twice a day...you must exercise the gaskets George, this is very important!!"
As we were gone, i kept thinking, "maybe we should have someone flush our toilet"...but then I quickly brushed those thoughts aside. I shouldn't have.
Right when we got home I flushed the toilet, and yes, it began to leak. Water was all over the floor. The gaskets must have dried up and cracked.
Luckily, we have VERY good friends (and handy friends) who came over quickly, with supplies from Home Depot, to fix this problem. Life Savers. So, crisis avoided. Next time you go on vacation, listen to Jerry, and exercise your gaskets!. :)

Week update with your host, me.

2009-07-02T17:41:00.000-07:00

So I'm back from another camping week of work. A lot has gone on, there's so much to say. First off, I have a pretty cool story, but it involves pictures which i don't have yet so I'll just save it. Let me say this though, i haven't been able to watch any tennis all week long. So picture me, up in the mountains, texting every chance I get, "who won this match" "who's winning now". I get so anxious not knowing. The people I work with know this and they'll say, 'what's your anxiety level now?" It's kind of funny. The good news from all of this?....
Serena and Venus are playing in the Wimbledon final for the second year in a row (and 4th time in a wimbledon final). This year, I'm hoping that serena wins, but if venus wins, that's good too. And don't worry, even though we're going to Phoenix tomorrow, I'll still be watching down there.
Work was definitely hard this week. Two days in a row we had 98 degree weather (you read that right) with no cloud cover. It felt like we were literally cooking ourselves. Also, the bugs at our camp site were out of control. I have over 40 bites on one leg alone. Everyone yells at me and tells me to wear pants, but that's just not gonna happen. I get too hot and uncomfortable. Anyways, it usually takes me a day or two to get over the scratching.
In conclusion, I can't wait to go to Phoenix to play, watch tennis, see Beyonce', and relax. See you next week....

SageSTEPPE Experience

2009-06-26T13:19:00.001-07:00

You can all thank me later for posting so much. I'm just entertaining the world. Here are some pictures from my summer job:

While camping this week, we would have archery tournaments after work.

Me dominating....not really.Trying to climb a steep hill. We kept falling back down.Out in the desert

Hard at work, watching for rattlesnakes (96 degrees with no clouds...ughhh)

Everyone's a critic...especially me.

2009-06-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, summer is on it's way and the summer blockbusters are coming out in full force. I've discussed this before, but it's time to start things up again. Before I start, a few things:
-I love movies
-I believe movies, like any form of art or entertainment, should be exceptional in all aspects
-It is okay to be critical of movies, just like you should be critical of the food you eat, the people you associate with, and the things you do in life.
-Some movie critics may be awful, but many are excellent. (that's why they became famous critics) Their opinion does matter, even if sometimes we don't agree with them.
-You can call a movie terrible, and still like the movie. Just admit that it's a terrible movie.
-It is weird to say you enjoy every movie you watch. That's just not possible. If you do, I might (will) question your opinions on anything and everything in life.
Sooooo, here I go. Most blockbuster movies are terrible. It's funny really. I think the directors know it, but they know how much money they will be making so they don't care. Night at the Museum 2, Terminator Salvation, and of course, Transformers 2. These are just a few of the movies out this summer that live up to the blockbuster disaster category. All have made (or will make), millions of dollars. But as one critic so perfectly wrote: (speaking of transformers)
"I know it's popular. So is junk food, and they both poison your insides and rot your brain."
Transformers will no doubt be a success, but we should expect more from our movies. One critic called it possibly the worst movie of the decade.
Here are some other quotes from critics:
"A 150-minute simulation of life in a garbage disposal."
"...a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments."
"...it will give most people a throbbing case of metal overload."
Anyways, if you want to read two full reviews from Roger Ebert or Peter Travers from Rolling Stone Magazine, go here or here.
And just to be fair, click here to see a favorable review. (Although this guy basically says it's just like the first movie, but BETTER!!! oooooohhhh.)
There's my two cents. The end.

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

It's all over the news by now. Michael Jackson died. Sad.
When i was really little i called him my idol. He was the coolest. He's had some controversy in his life, but I stand by him. He's weird, but his music is the best. What you might not know is that we share something. (Not skin color, b/c I'm darker than he is). No, we share a birthday, August 29th. Poor Michael, he was gonna be back on top of the music business. Oh well.

In other news, I just got back from a week of camping and work. I have so many scratches and bug bites...it's crazy. I fell again and have some nice cuts on my hand and arm. We had fun though. I'll post some pictures of the adventure soon. Anyways, that is all.

Almost.

I forgot, Wimbledon has started!!!! Serena plays tomorrow in the 3rd round. I'll be up around 6 or earlier to watch it live. Thank goodness it's the weekend. The end.

Snake Bite!!!

2009-06-19T23:28:00.000-07:00

Work has been pretty dangerous lately. On wednesday we saw two snakes on one site alone. Me being the brave snake handler I am, had to pick them both up and play with them. This is the result:

As you can see, the snake took a nice bite out of my hand. The story goes on and on....it's really quite boring. Turns out the snake was poisonous, so I had to lie still for a while so my co-workers could call 911.....then came the life flight, the hospital....it was a nightmare. Luckily, i survived, and all is well.

Okay okay, maybe I'm stretching the truth a little. We did see snakes on the site, but I certainly didn't get near them. Really, I'm just clumsy and while standing on some cut down trees, I fell over. Like...all the way over, completely onto my back. These snake-bite-looking stab wounds were the result. I fell quite gracefully. Since I wear shorts everyday I got scratched up a lot. This day was exceptionally bad. You should see my legs. Anyways, you better believe that when I'm the one to come across the snakes, I go the other way. The end.

A piece of advice from your favorite Judge

2009-06-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on the couch watching Judge Judy with tiddy. It's raining outside and we're just waiting for Jess to get home from work. I'm happy. So Judge Judy just gave this lady some really good advice that she's been saying for years:
Never ever ever loan anybody money with the expectation to get it back. The minute you loan someone money, you become the bad guy. Because "those who have little will think ill of those who have a lot and who dare to ask for the money back". She says to never loan money to friends, family, strangers, anybody! "Think of it as a gift that would be a surprise to get back"
It's completely true. When you loan someone money, they are so grateful and happy. But the second you start asking for that money back, they can get angry and act like somehow they were entitled to the money all along. Then they begin to think you are selfish and rude for asking for it back. If you bring up the money, they can get awkward and aggitated. It's true, when you loan money, you become the bad one.
Anyways, Judge Judy just went off on a lady about this again and I always love when she does. So I thought I'd share the good advice.

Side note: Many people are responsible and don't have problems paying people back. But still, in general.....don't do it. Tiddy agrees.

What's goin' on

2009-06-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

This has been a pretty good week. EXCEPT......sadly, no...tragically, Serena lost a hard fought match in the French Open. Try not to make the mistake that you can discuss this with me, unless you are expressing your deepest sympathys. I will cut you. I'm being surprisingly serious. However, Roger is still in the mix and I'm really pulling for him this year. This is his best chance, so cross your fingers.

In work news, the other day a thunderstorm rolled in. Did I have a rain jacket? Duhhhh, no. So It started pouring on us. Reeeaaallly hard. Then I started yelling, owww, this rain is hurting! Oh wait, it was hailing on us too. Quite the adventure. Besides that, summer is moving along.

PS: Skin is all cleared up. I think I was mis-diagnosed.....and i might file charges. Okay, I don't think that's possible, but still. The end

The French Open...and you thought I forgot.

2009-05-31T15:41:00.000-07:00

Today starts week 2 of the French Open, one of the 4 Grand Slams of the year. If you will remember, Serena won the Australian Open earlier in the year. She plays tomorrow in her 4th round match. Hopefully I'm not jinxing her by posting this. The biggest news is that Nadal lost today!!! He's never lost a match at the French Open in the 4 years he's played in it. Finally, Federer has a chance to win. This could turn out very exciting. Too bad I'm at work all day so I never get to see any matches.

I work hard for the money

2009-05-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

Work has been going well the past week. It's been really nice to be able to come home everynight. On thursday we're having a "career enhancement day". Basically it's a day where we get paid but we don't really work. For this months day we're going to the migratory bird refuge in Brigham City. Yeah, birds....boring, BUT, we're gonna go out to eat while we're up there, so i'm like yeaaahhhh!!!!

So, things I like about my job:
Being outside all day
Looking at cool plants
Free tanning
Being a supervisor
Being awesome...duh, it's me

Things I don't like:
Black widows
Snakes of any kind
Lightning
Annoying people

Finally, did anyone else watch the "to catch a predator" marathon last sunday? I did....and it was awesome. Cause you know, if I'm watching one, we're watching them all. Oh herb....
The End

Pleva....part II

2009-05-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

So here's the deal...
I never get sick...I pride myself in never getting sick. However, this week has not been good. The entire week I've just felt wierd. Headaches, weakness, aches, hot/cold flashes...just overall tiredness. Coming home from a long day of work and experiencing those symptoms has not been fun. I really didn't know what it was, but i'm feeling better now. Then a few days ago I got these two sores on my inner lip. So that has been a pain. But now to what this blog is really about...(besides the fact that my body is apparently falling apart)

2 days ago I noticed these red dots on my chest. Today, it's pretty much all over my chest and a little on my stomach. Jess thought that I should go to the doctor, which I obviously didn't want to do. Most of you will remember my 2 year ordeal with a rare skin disease called Pleva several years ago. B/c of that time, i was dreading going to see a doctor for this. Multiple dermatologists couldn't even diagnose pleva, and the regular doctors had no clue, so why should this time be any different. So tonight, we went to urgent care, they took my blood pressure (perfect as usual), and I went in to see the doctor. After looking at me for a few seconds (hopefully you can tell how skeptical i am of his diagnosis), he told me what he thinks it is. He said it's Pityriasis rosea. Oh, did i mention that the first word in Pleva is Pityriasis?.......yeaaaaahhhhhh.
He goes, "do you know what causes it"....i didn't even have to wait for an answer. I rolled my eyes and said "nobody knows right?" Of course. Just like Pleva, this condition has no known cause, or cure. It just goes away on it's own in 6-12 weeks. If you click on the Pityriasis rosea link, you'll notice that although it hasn't been proven, many people who get this experience aches and weakness just before they get the rash. Hmmmmm....remember how this whole past week I've felt weak and achy? Perhaps this is the reason why. I don't know. So, if this is even what it is (which I really don't know) I just have to wait it out. I'm so sick of getting these bizarre problems. Why can't I just get a normal disease? I'm so healthy, but when I do get something, my body likes to make it a challenge.
I always say that when I die, it's going to be from some new disease that they name after me.
I HATE SKIN PROBLEMS. Nobody ever knows how to fix them. So for now, I'm just angry that I have to deal with this again. Hopefully, it's just some small problem that will go away quickly. That's all for now.

this and that

2009-05-14T19:11:00.001-07:00

So now that i finished my second week of work....i should probably get around to writing about it. Work has been good, but this week i have been feeling awful. I feel okay when i'm actually at work, but when i get home, it feels like i've been punched in the face. The only thing i can think of is dehydration, but i've been drinking lots of water so who knows. Work has been fun. It is a lot like last year. We won't be camping until june so it's nice to come home everyday. Plus, i only work monday through thursday. I am the supervisor, along with another guy, which is cool. We get paid more, and we're in charge when our boss is gone.
Well, i have a headache now and i'm trying to watch the season finale of the office and 30 Rock....sooo, that's all for now.

1st week of work

2009-05-07T23:03:00.001-07:00

It's late and I'm too tired to write now, but maybe tomorrow i'll let you know how my first week of work went...

1 Year

2009-05-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

Happy 1 Year Anniversary Jess

May 3, 2008

The limp in action...

2009-04-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

So you've heard for a while now how tiddy sometimes limps around. We've even taken him to the vet about it, but nothing seems to be wrong. The only thing we can think of is that he sleeps on it funny, or he's hurt it from jumping down off of his cat bed. Either way, I think he's faking. He randomly limps around like this sometimes, and it's usually right after he's been curled up somewhere. So here it is, the infamous limp...brought to you by....tiddy.

Things to learn from Britney...

2009-04-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

First off, can I just say how cool it was to get the seats we did? I don't think that has been appreciated enough. We were literally sitting in the highest section of the place, looking down at the small ant people and saying, "how can we get down there?" 5 minutes later, we were looking up at our old, crappy seats. Old seats= $70 total New Seats=~$700
Anyways, here are some things I noticed/observed/learned from the concert:

-Life is weird. If we had decided to stay in our seats, or get a drink AND popcorn, or even drive/walk a little slower or faster on the way, or not missed the parking lot the first time and have to drive around the block, we would NOT have run into the old friend who gave us the free tickets. Bizarre.
-I was expecting Britney to look a little...you know, large and run down. On the contrary, she actually looked very good. We were very impressed.
-She lip synched everything perfectly everytime she was right next to us. I made sure to keep watch.
-Circus folk are freaks....clowns, jugglers.....scary
-Circus folk are talented...the ring/rope,curtain people are really cool. I wish i could do that stuff
-Music at concerts (this being my first huge concert) is extremely loud. Really loud. Ear numbing loud.....but sounds very good.
-People in Hollywood look other worldly. Britney and the Pussycat dolls looked like...well, dolls. They don't look like real people look. It's kind of crazy.
-The lead singer of the pussycat dolls sings a lot better than britney. (and that's live vs. recorded)
-I thought about running up on stage more than once.....
-It was fun, the end.

Day 1 Outfit

2009-04-08T21:54:00.000-07:00

Red collar: Wal*Mart

Ha ha ha....

The End

PS: don't judge him for his ghetto collar. :)

ughhh, the drama...

2009-03-31T15:01:00.000-07:00

I HATE group projects...have I mentioned that before? Haha, of course I have. Well here's the story. So remember a few blogs ago where I mentioned the girl who never helps out in our group? Last week we turned in our group project which I worked really hard on. (actually so did jess and she's not even in the class....that's not the point). Everyone in the group contributed except for this girl. She literally did nothing but help with the group edit. She never volunteered for anything, she never did anything on her own, nothing. So when It came time for the confidential group evaluations I marked her as "unacceptable" on several categories including "quality of work". I mean, how could I give her a good evaluation when she didn't do anything?
So this morning I get an email from my teacher. It was sent to all of the group members except for the girl. Basically it said that several of us had given her "unacceptable" ratings and that she wanted to know if she should alter the girls grade b/c of it, and exactly why we gave her those ratings.
So I wrote the teacher and explained that while i felt bad for giving her those ratings, that's what I felt she deserved b/c she really hadn't done anything. No harm, thought it was over.....
it wasn't.
I get home from work today and guess who i have an email from?? Yep, the girl in our group. Awesome....
She basically emailed all of us and told us that she had been informed that several people in the group had given her bad ratings and she wanted to know why blah blah blah. I couldn't believe it. Couldn't the teacher wait to tell her until much later if even at all. Or couldn't she tell us that we needed to tell the girl ourselves? Please someone tell me the meaning of "confidential" evaluations if you don't keep it confidential??? I mean good grief, if i had known she would have found out what we gave her I would have never rated her poorly in the first place. It is such an awkward situation. Even though she bugs me I've always been nice to this girl...now she's gonna think, wow what a jerk. Now I have to go to class tomorrow and sit next to her. Annnd, we have 1 more group project to do. Why why why. I hate it when things like this happen. Why have confidential evaluations if you just go and tell the people what they got rated??? Arrrrrrhhrhrhhhrhhrhrh

Our day at the surgery center

2009-03-26T10:51:00.001-07:00

We just got back from Jess' procedure at the surgery center and I've got an update. First off, Jess was extremely sweet and funny when she was waking up from the medicine. When I got to the recovery room she was still out of it and she was hiccupping (sp?) a lot. The nurse said people usually hiccup a lot, or cry for no reason. So it was a good thing she was just hiccupping. She finally opened her eyes after a few minutes and said, "is it over". The next 15 minutes or so involved her opening her eyes, asking questions, and then asking the same questions minutes later, as if she had never asked them before. It was reaaaallly funny and adorable. So our conversations went like this:

Jess: what did they find out?
Me: well, blah blah blah...explain the whole thing.
10 seconds later, jess looks over again
Jess: what did they find out?
Me (smiling): well, blah blah blah...explain entire thing again.
10 seconds later, jess looks over again
Jess: what did they see?
Me (trying not to laugh): well, blah blah blah, tell everything again.

Once I thought she was really awake enough I decided to quiz her. She said she was aware of things but she still seemed loopy.

Me: what is one of your dogs name?
Jess: we don't have a dog.
Me: your dogs at home.
Jess: emma....
Me: and the other one?
Jess:....poncho.
Me: who's your favorite person on the Bad Girls Club?
Jess: (eyes closed again at this point)......amber....
Me: yep, you're awake.

Honestly, it was funny and sweet. Then, every 5 minutes or so her automatic blood pressure machine thing would go off and it would scare her everytime. She would get this frantic look on her face, look down at her arm, and I would have to say, "it's just taking your blood pressure". Then she would be fine. I liked being there taking care of her. She wasn't grumpy at all, the perfect patient.
Sooooo, the Dr. did not find any ulcers. Jess has gastritis and is not allowed to take any ibuprofin until this is gone. I read online that caffeine can cause problems too so I'm cutting her off the Mt. Dew. (you can imagine which one she's more upset about). They took a biopsy of her small intestine to see if there is anything else going on. We'll know by next week. Now she's just resting on the couch. :) The End

Happy Birthday Jesssss

2009-03-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

"Happy Birthday Jess!!!! Don't forget to smile with your eyes all day long. Also, if you need a ride today I can pick you up in my tut-tut, hut-hut...hooptie. Anyways, stay fierce and always remember how important I am."
Love,
Tyra

Yes, I moved my Judge Judy post down so Tyra could say happy birthday....that's true love. :)
Happy Birthday love,
Juji

Finally, my big news!!!

2009-03-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

I know you've all been waiting in anticipation for this important post that I've been promising. Don't worry, you will not be disappointed. This is quite possibly the most important blog anyone has ever written. Today, it finally came in the mail....my autographed Judge Judy picture. As you may or may not know, I've been watching Judge Judy since I was younger. It's one of my favorite shows. On occasion I'll email the show, just to say what I think of it (and to try and get free tickets). Usually I get no response. The past couple times I actually did get a response from the staff. It was just a standard "thank you for emailing us" response. Then, a week or two ago I got a different email back. They said the usual thank you, but then said, If you send us your address we'll send you an autographed picture! So that's what i've been waiting so patiently (or not) for. The big question was, "is it going to actually be signed by Judge Judy, or will it be some standard signature that they have reprinted over and over. Well....here is the answer:

Note: these were taken on my phone camera b/c jess's camera dies the minute you turn it on. So hopefully the quality is good enough.

Here is the envelope it came in...very official.

The whole picture is bigger than this....this is the closeup on the actual writing. Yes, it is her real signature. If you can't read it, it says: "Josh, my best, Judge Judy"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Who likes group projects?...

2009-03-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

So my big story hasn't happened yet...so this is not it. No, this is about my english class again. Once again, we're doing another group project and I have the same group members. Some of them are helpful, but so many just don't seem to care. Last time we did a project there were a few problems. There is this girl in our group, she's young and very immature. (and not the funny kind of immature...no, the annoying, shouldn't be allowed to live on their own kind of immature). She thinks she's so important and special though, as if she is the only person in the world who matters. Everything is about her and it drives me nuts. For our last project, we were supposed to print our finished projects in color. She came in the day before it was due with a black and white, jank looking finished project. Her response when we questioned why it wasn't in color? "I didn't have a color printer". I couldn't believe the nerve. This girl just thinks the world must revolve around her, and doesn't care about all the work we had put into the project FOR HER and her grade! This is a classic case of people thinking they are the boss of the world. Anyways, life lesson: don't be rude...be grateful for the things people do for you, and don't expect everyone to cater to your every need. I can't stand spoiled brats. I'm sure y'all can relate...

Wait a minute

2009-03-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

I should have a good story coming soon...be ready. Actually, you probably won't care too much but I needed a new post.

Speaking of sleeping

2009-03-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

Everynight tiddy sleeps next to me. Like right next to me, cuddled up. It's funny. Yes, he loves Jess a lot, but for some reason (we all know the reason), he sleeps right up next to me. Sometimes this causes problems.

Problem
1. There is always a risk that I could roll over on him. (it has happened)
2. In the middle of the night I can't tell if it's him next to me, or jess' arm under the sheets.

Every morning I have to get up around 5 or so and feed him. He sits on my chest and meows quietly until I wake up. Then he eats and gets back in bed. Well this morning my alarm went off and as I sometimes do, I held it in my hand, pushed the snooze, and kept sleeping. I held it in my hand so that when the alarm kept going off i could silence it quickly. So in one hand I've got my alarm, and my other hand is on the cat, who is back laying beside me.
All of a sudden, my snooze alarm started going off. Obviously I was a litle tired and out of it still b/c i woke up and instead of squeezing the snooze button i was squeezing the cats head. It was kind of funny. He didn't seem to mind. Also, the other day I woke up in the middle of the night and for no reason at all, i was pinching the cat. Wierd huh?....

The funniest part...

2009-03-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

of sunny throwing up all over our carpet?...Jackson being two feet away playing playstation not even realizing it had happened. After she was moved and threw up again in the kitchen, jackson finally walked over and said, "whats wrong with sunny?" It was funny.

Just an observation...

2009-02-26T17:11:00.000-08:00

Lately I've seen a lot of blogs complaining about the weather and how they wish it were spring. Plus, many of my friends and class mates have been saying similar things. Does anyone else realize it's been one of the warmest February's in Utah's history? Notice how all the snow has pretty much melted and it's been shorts weather the past week? Now I know it's supposed to snow tonight but good grief....just an observation.
The end.

Job Opportunities

2009-02-23T13:27:00.000-08:00

I've realized that most of the T.V. I watch reflects dream jobs I would actually really like to have. Here are a few examples of things I love to watch on T.V.

I love Money 2---> Actually this could apply to any reality tv show. I have always wanted to be on a reality show and sometimes think of my life as if I'm on tv. I'm just that funny. Although Mok would agree that a reality show of mom and dad moving across the country would be better. I'd be a side character and then break out as the star and get my own show.

Judge Judy---> You might think I'd say judge or lawyer....no, I just want to work on the show...lighting, producing, camera man...whatever. Either that or I just need to start suing people more often.

Tennis---> I really wish I was a talented superstar at tennis. I'd make tons of money having fun, plus, I'd be friends with Serena

Snapped---> This is a "wife snaps and kills husband" courtroom/reality show. Does that make sense? Anyways, I've seen almost every single episode and I love it. I always think I would love being a Crime Scene Investigator, or a detective of some sort. I love watching them find out the clues that lead to the murder. Very interesting to me.

30 Rock---> I always wanted to work on a tv show. Either acting in one, or behind the scenes. I just think it looks like fun.

The end

In actual job news, I did get a new summer job. I'll be working for one of my professors and his grad student. I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing, but it will be similar to my range crew job the past two summers. The cool thing is they asked me to be a supervisor b/c of my plant id skills/work experience...I must be doing something right around here.

Go Green

2009-02-20T09:09:00.000-08:00

Click here to find out the newest way to go green.....you won't be disappointed.
Enjoy

PS: This blog was made long before Jess said she was going to make her blog today. And furthermore, this IS a real way to go green. So there